44 Book Four by Jools Sinclair Page B

like my sister,” I said. “It’s still months away.”
    “It’s not that far away. And it’s the big one. How ‘bout we go bar hopping?”
    “Okay, let me think on that,” I said.
    “You’ll like it,” Ty said. “You’ll see.”
    I took a bite of the pizza.
    “Don’t let Kate throw me a party. She’s been hinting at it and it would be great if you could tell her that I’m not up for it. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I really don’t want one.”
    “Okay,” he said. “I’ll let her know. So what then?”
    “I’ll give it some thought. Something quiet. But special.”
    It was funny talking like this with Ty, discussing these plans for the future. It was nice, comfortable.
    I argued with him when the bill came, but he insisted on handing his credit card to the waitress and then went to the restroom.
    The tingling feeling that bubbled up inside when I was with him felt nice. But sometimes it made me feel like I was betraying Jesse.
    We still had a little time before the movie so we strolled along the river, holding hands, up and over the bridge where plastic flags flapped wildly in the bitter wind. The clouds were gone and it was a moonless sky with thousands of brilliant stars scattered in the blackness above.
    I tilted my head all the way back, breathing in the night.
     

 
    CHAPTER 18
     
    The howl of the train whistle in my ears was deafening.
    I fell into the cold, dark water and sank down, down, down past the bubbles that were rising up all around me. I tried to reach for the surface, tried to get to the air but couldn’t. It kept getting farther and farther away. I was being pulled down to the bottom and I couldn’t hold my breath for much longer.
    But suddenly, I was out of the water, breathing again, down in an even deeper darkness, the train still loud in my ears.
    I didn’t know where I was. I was walking in the dark, my bare feet on the cold ground. Fear surged through me. There was a faint glow up ahead and I moved slowly toward it, one foot in front of the other.
    I came to a door and pushed against it, but it wouldn’t open more than a few inches. It was bright in there, but I couldn’t see much. It was a room, with furniture and a long table pushed up against the wall. A television was on in the background and I could hear the sound of drums. 
    Someone was there. A shadow moved past the open crack as I looked inside.
    I tried again to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. The shadow swayed and danced across the room. I couldn’t see who it was, couldn’t make out a face. Suddenly a strong smell, a chemical of some sort, filled my nostrils and then smoke started filling the room. It was hard to breathe.
    I backed away, away from the light, and then I was suddenly swimming. Up, up, up to the surface, leaving the shadow figure far behind, buried somewhere at the bottom of the lake. I moved my arms through the water in hard, furious strokes, faster and faster, finally breaking the surface just before my lungs exploded.
    And then I started screaming, the train still howling.
     
    ***
     
    “Abby!” Kate said, shaking me. “Abby. Wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
    I sat up. My heart pounded and tears streamed down my cheeks.
    “It’s okay,” she said over and over again until I finally heard it.
    Until I believed it.
    She wrapped both arms around me and held me for a long time, stroking my hair.
    “You’re safe, Abby. You’re here at home. I’m here with you. Nobody is going to hurt you.”
    I ran to the bathroom, feeling like I was going to throw up. Kate followed me and rubbed my back as I leaned over the toilet. Staring down at the water just made it worse and I backed away, managing to hold it down. I washed my face and sobbed and she handed me a towel. She helped me put on my robe and slippers.
    She led me to the living room and wrapped a fleece blanket around me and we sat in the dark stillness, not saying anything. I stared at the light outside that