A Life Less Ordinary by Victoria Bernadine Page B

you’re arguing with yourself, right?
    Fine. 
Okay.  Whatever.
    Now,
be honest.  Look at this outfit.  You actually have a waist.  And those jeans
make your legs look longer than they are.  You also look ten pounds lighter. 
Come on.  Admit it.  You look really good in this outfit.  And years younger!
    Manny
considered Harvey’s words with a frown, and tried to see herself objectively.
    Okay. 
I don’t look horrible .
    It
was as far as she was willing to go.
    Her
skin was beginning to turn a golden brown, her mousy,
not-quite-blonde-not-quite-brown hair getting bleached by the sun.  As always,
she ate with a hearty appetite, and her initial physical discomfort had faded
to a pleasant ache brought on by exercise and sun. 
    Leila’s
second bed and breakfast was lovely, a large Victorian house nestled in the
heart of San Francisco.  Leila’s grandson managed the place and served not only
breakfast but also supper for those people who wished to eat at the house with
the family.
    Everyone
ate at one long table, in a warm, friendly atmosphere, and Manny had become
cautiously friendly with her fellow guests. 
    There
was the young gay couple on their honeymoon from British Columbia; the two
middle-aged sisters who had more enthusiasm for sightseeing than even Manny
could muster; and the elderly man and his wife who were in San Francisco for a
granddaughter’s wedding and had initially been rather shocked by the newlyweds,
and had subsequently been anxiously worried about giving offence.  The young
couple were in love with each other and everyone around them, and they’d
quickly eased the elderly couple’s minds and easily befriended everyone staying
in the bed and breakfast.
    Manny
subsided into a position of sitting quietly at the table, listening to the
conversation flowing around the room.  She envied Zeke his casual ease with the
others, and wondered when she’d turned into somebody with nothing worth saying.
    It
sometimes made her feel very cold, lonely, small...and old.  Much older than
the elderly couple, and centuries older than Zeke and the newlyweds.
    What
am I doing here?
    You’re
re-learning how to connect with people.
    I
have nothing to say to any of these people!  How can I reconnect if I can’t
participate in the conversation?
    But
you’re listening with interest.
    ...that
doesn’t help much.
    Small
steps, Manny.  You didn’t get here overnight – you’re not going to get out of
here overnight either.  Give yourself some slack.  And relax.  This isn’t like
being on the job.  Nothing is dependent on you succeeding or failing.
    Except
my happiness.  And my mental health.
    ...point
taken.
    Harvey
was almost constantly with her, usually casually dressed in jeans and a
button-down shirt, or, on occasion, well-fitted t-shirts.  He was always
impossibly perfect, but it was oddly comforting to see him from the corners of
her eyes during everything she did or experienced.  Perhaps it was a sign she’d
been alone too long although she preferred to think he was simply a way to ease
the loneliness caused by leaving Daisy and Rebecca – and everything else in her
life – behind.
    That
night at supper, she listened to the conversations flowing around her, and by
the end of the evening, she’d agreed to go the next day with the sisters on a
guided tour of the city.
    She
might feel awkward and lonely, but she was determined to enjoy seeing the
sights on this trip, no matter what.
    * * * * *

Day 14
    TJ
spooned around Leah and breathed in her scent.  They’d spent yet another
evening reading pamphlets and books and web sites they’d dug up during the day
related to fertility issues, treatments and options.  TJ’s head pounded from
once more weighing and debating the pros and cons of each option and trying to
decide what would work best for them.  Money was no object – they had that
advantage at least - but there was still something inside him that hoped
against hope that there