A Touch of Passion by Bronwen Evans

for that one special person.” She looked away. “I want more from my life,” she went on, her voice flat. “I refuse to settle for a companionable marriage. I want what Mamma and Papa shared. Life is too short—you of all people should understand that.”
    He did—and that was why, after Waterloo, he’d decided that he wanted to have children and build a family, but without the heartache. That required a marriage of companionship, not a grand love affair. And that was why he’d never once let himself contemplate Portia Flagstaff as a future bride, given she had the ability to make him feel far too much of everything. Except here he was, about to ask for her hand in marriage.
    He stood next to her and looked out to sea, his feet spread to steady him on the rocking ship, his hands clasped behind his back. “I was never going to marry at all, actually. Losing my family … I never wanted to feel that pain again. What if I had children or a wife and I lost them or they lost me?”
    “I assume Waterloo changed your mind. Philip told me you were seriously looking for a wife.”
    He nodded. “Yes. I didn’t want all the loss and sacrifice to be for nothing. I fought for my home and country. I now feel obligated to my heritage, to ensure an heir.”
    “At sixteen I almost died, and it made me dream of living a full life. What is more rewarding than love—love for another and for your children?”
    “Until I saw the suffering at Waterloo I would not have agreed. Duty, honor, and sacrifice take precedence over affairs of the heart, or so my father used to say.” He remained silent for a while before finally admitting, “When we fought for our country, for those we love, I suddenly realized that I had a duty also to myself. A duty to find happiness in such a cold, bleak world, or else what was it all for?”
    He glanced at her, and she smiled. “I feel the same. You see? We do have something in common. I even made a list. It’s my everything-I-must-experience list.”
    He nodded, suddenly understanding how her near-death experience must have shaped her journey to adulthood. “What is on your list?”
    “It’s very extensive. I plan to live for a long time and I don’t want to miss a minute of it. The main one was to make a difference, and I think I have attained that by setting up my cider business and supporting my orphans’ school. It might not make a difference the world values, but the children I educate certainly know I’ve helped.”
    “It would be more admirable to society if you simply offered patronage and didn’t insist on being involved in the day-to-day running of the company. Leave it to your brothers.”
    “Why should I? It was my idea, and it is a success.” She ignored his raised eyebrow. “Also on my list is sailing to another country and experiencing a new culture. I suppose I could cross that one off my list now,” she added dryly. “I’m afraid they get more scandalous from there.”
    “Why does that not surprise me?”
    She ignored his sarcasm. “I want to drink a glass of whiskey and smoke a cigar. I want to try riding a horse astride while wearing trousers. I want to visit a gentlemen’s club and learn what scandalous and salacious activities go on there, and I want to take a lover who can teach me all there is to know about lovemaking.”
    He didn’t even bother to mention that what was missing on her list was a husband. Instead he said, “I’ve learned the hard way that we cannot always get what we want. I too have a list. A list of things I am looking for in my bride.” He turned to face her. “Shall I tell you what they are?”
    She merely nodded.
    “I want a woman who is as virtuous as she is beautiful. I require a woman who understands how to be an asset to the Blackwood name. A woman who will honor and obey me above all others, and provide me with children I know to be mine. Most of all, I want a woman who knows that we will have a fine arrangement—I will give her