Absalom's Daughters by Suzanne Feldman Page A

might Lil Ma be saying to Grandmother right at this moment? How long would they stay in Heron-Neck now that she was gone?
    *   *   *
    In the morning, the car refused to start. Judith rattled the key in the ignition. Something inside the engine flapped like a bird trying to get out. They put up the hood and stared at the oily-black workings inside. A train rumbled into view and went into the tunnel, moving so slowly that they could have kept up with it at a fast walk.
    â€œWe should find a freight car and get on,” said Judith. She seemed ready to do just that when a freight car with an open door passed, and the railroad hoboes riding it hooted and hollered at them.
    â€œMy daddy— our daddy—useta ride them freight trains,” Judith said. “He got robbed when he was asleep, and that was the end of that. Said he thought he was ridin’ for free, but turned out he was payin’ tramps for a ticket.”
    â€œShoulda kept his money in his shoes” said Cassie.
    â€œHe did. They took his shoes too.”
    â€œThey took his shoes?”
    The train, with its hooting hoboes, vanished into the tunnel.
    â€œSure as I’m standin’ here.”
    The bills in Cassie’s shoes slid under her heels. Her sense of safety—which she hadn’t actually been aware of until this moment—evaporated. If she were robbed, nothing she had was safe. Not her shoes. Not her body.
    â€œWhich way you think we more likely to run into somebody?” Judith said.
    The road looked more exposed, but the wagon track into the woods made her think of the Justice boys. “Let’s take the road.”
    They ate what was left of the burned corn bread. Judith put the pistol in a sack over her shoulder. It was a cold, overcast morning. The unfamiliar road, the fields, the wire fences looked unfriendly. After they’d walked for a while, the sun came out from behind a few thin clouds. It shone down on the rows of cut corn and made the earth smell like spring might not be too far off, but it didn’t make Cassie feel any more comfortable. Who could say they hadn’t wandered into a world filled with Duncan Justices or oil men looking for dark-skinned women?
    â€œWhat if you can’t find your daddy?” said Cassie.
    Judith just walked along holding the sack with one hand, swinging her other arm. “You homesick already?”
    â€œI’m not homesick.” Cassie tried to mimic Judith’s walk, but her arms didn’t seem to have the same confidence. “I’m just wondering what you’re gonna do if you can’t find Virginia.”
    â€œAin’t it too big to miss?”
    â€œIt ain’t too big to miss. It ain’t even on the map.”
    Judith snorted and pushed hair away from her face. “I never thought I’d be out travelin’ in the great big world with some scairt lil homesick nigger girl.”
    Lots of terrible things, all accurate and deserved, got ready to rush out of Cassie’s mouth. She picked the most cutting thing she could think of. “My mama say you sound like a jaybird when you talk.”
    Judith stopped in the middle of the empty road.
    Cassie stopped too. “Every nigger in town says so.”
    Judith took a funny little breath, like she’d never considered the opinions of the Heron-Neck niggers. “Every nigger in town ain’t heard me sing.”
    â€œI’m the only nigger in town who heard you sing,” said Cassie. “An’ I say, don’t you never use that jaybird voice to call me that again.”
    â€œI jus’ kiddin’ you.”
    â€œI’m not scared, an’ I’m not homesick,” Cassie said, though truthfully, she was, and she was bothered—a lot—that Judith’s dreams and illusions shielded Judith from any of Cassie’s fears, fears which seemed to get bigger the farther they got from the car.
    â€œWell then, I’m