again.
“I miss her a great deal.”
I wonder what the militia girl’s parents think of
me.
“Well, I have everything I need. I still have two
more of his patients to see, so I better go.”
Lori offered an invitation.
“I’ll be back in the house about four, if you need
anything else.”
She gives up another irresistible smile. For so
long, I have protected my castle, and yet she easily breaches its
walls, and captures it. I’m surprised by how much I want to let the
floodgates burst open. I go with a simple “Okay.” As her door
closes behind me, I return to reality.
What would she want with a broken down cop
anyway?
Lori watches me through the window.
I have a good feeling about you. Maybe you’re the
one.
* * *
It was a beautiful morning. The birds seemed
energized, and the air smelled clean. White-topped, and
gray-bottomed clouds floated indiscernibly by. There were breaks
between the clouds that allowed laser shafts of sunlight to touch
the earth. On her way to the cemetery, Lori stopped by the
florist’s shop and purchased a bouquet of daises and carnations.
They were on Emily’s list of favorite flowers. Rejoicing at the
warmth of the sun, Lori made her usual trek through the miniature
monuments, with names and departure dates, until she arrived at
Emily’s.
“Hi baby, mommy’s here. I missed you terribly.”
She stood with her arms full of flowers. She didn’t
hear a reply. Lori tried again.
“Emily, mommy’s here.
Silence, not hearing her daughter’s usual greeting
was a painful blow.
“Baby?”
No answer. Lori stressed and listened closer, but
still nothing. Standing with her eyes closed, Lori remembered
Emily’s suicide note.
You should have stopped him. Why didn’t you stop
him? I hate you. I will hate you forever.
Finally, a very subdued child’s voice spoke.
I’m here, mommy.
Lori looked rapidly left and right.
“Where are you, Emily?”
She became anxious, possessed. Her baby was near.
She didn’t care if anyone saw her.
“Baby, where are you?”
I’m in the dirt, mommy.
Lori quickly gathered the flowers she had brought.
She fell down on her knees and placed one hand on the grave. The
other slid along the smooth headstone.
“Baby, what’s wrong? I came as fast as I could.
Please, don’t be angry with me.”
Who is he?
“Who, baby?”
That man mommy, who was that man you were talking
to?
“You mean the detective, Detective Roberts, baby?
The man who came to see me? Oh he’s nobody, just wanted to ask me
some questions.”
A groundskeeper, a black man with a rake, stopped to
watch Lori. He stared at her, and she glared back until he finally
moved on.
He’s bad mommy, a bad man.
“Oh no Emily, he’s no such thing. He was just asking
about Dr. Abrams.”
Lori’s voice trailed off.
You mean the dead Dr. Abrams? Maybe he’d like to ask
about the dead Father Moralli, or maybe the dead Senator
Whitman?
Lori looked down not knowing how to answer. Instead,
she started to pull twigs and weeds from the grass and tossed them
to the side. She never liked when Emily was in a bad mood.
“Emily—”
Leave her be! She’s only concerned. Jake Roberts
is a problem .
Lori quickly surveyed the cemetery for mourners.
“I like him. He’s not like the others.”
She waited, but no one answered. Lori drifted off
with her thoughts.
Daddy was on top of her. Emily gripped the sheets
while he sexually assaulted her. It hurt, but she was afraid to
tell on him. She loved him, and hated him. She did not want to be
the cause of any more problems between her fighting parents. When
she tried to tell, it was as if mommy did not want to hear.
Before he finished with her, Lori returned to
reality then the image of Jake Roberts replaced the horror of the
dream. A smile appeared on her face. Life did not have to be full
of heartache.
Could he be the one?
Inside, her heart danced with a renewed sense of
optimism. Lori felt hopeful again. It had been a long time