Agatha H. and the Airship City by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio Page A

help,” he muttered in a disgusted tone of voice, “I hef been captured by a clenk. Help. Help.”
    The machine raised him up to what appeared to be an array of crude sensors on its front. “Hokay,” the Jäger muttered, “get on vit it.”
    Several of the sensor lens flared into blue-white brightness and swept over the captive soldier, who flinched at the glare. After several seconds of stillness, the device casually tossed the Jägersoldier onto the ground and again began to advance.
    Boris smiled serenely and bit into a fresh doughnut. “You see, Herr Baron, entertaining, but harmless.”
    The furious sergeant strode up, while brushing off his hat. “You is schtupid! Dat ting could be lookink for hennybody! And ven it finds dem, den you gots trouble!”
    Klaus nodded. “You are correct, Sergeant, but this is also a priceless opportunity.”
    Boris looked stricken. “I don’t understand, Herr Baron.”
    The now grinning Jägermonster poked him in the back of the head. “Dots because hyu ain’t the schmot guy.”
    The Baron turned to his son, who quickly finished his own doughnut. “Gil?”
    “Well, Father, I’ve thought of four ways to stop it, depending on whether you want it destroyed, shut down, contained, or immobilized.”
    The Baron sighed. “Actually, I want it distracted.”
    A look of annoyance flashed across Gilgamesh’s face. “Of course you do.” It was replaced by a mischievous look and with a “Consider it done!” he bounded forward, ignoring his father’s cry of alarm.
    Striding up to the machine he jauntily addressed it. “Hullo, Herr Clank! Are you looking for me?”
    Again the metal arm whipped out and grabbed, but all it brought up to its sensors was an empty greatcoat. Several yards away, from atop a stack of barrels, Gilgamesh gaily called out, “Ho! You’ll have to do better than that!”
    Instantly the giant device launched itself towards him, displaying an unsuspected turn of speed. The ground shook under the impacts of its massive feet. Gil stood, apparently unconcerned as the device thundered towards him, until the last second, when as the great hand smashed into the barrel where he’d been, he leapt onto the shaft of the arm, and with a bounce, latched onto the case containing the sensor array, blocking it with his body.
    The device stopped dead for several seconds. Its arm swung up, but could not reach Gil. It then began a twisting, gyrating series of movements to try and throw him off. Clinging grimly, Gil called out, “Any time, Father!”
    Klaus, after his first display of agitation, had gone still, as he intensely studied the movements of the control unit at the rear of the clank. It was a small bullet-shaped mechanism equipped with several flexible arms which furiously operated the levers and wheels that actually drove the main engine. After a minute or so, a grim smile crossed his features and he reached into his coat, pulling out a small grappling gun. In a single motion he aimed and fired, and the automatic grapple closed upon the lever he desired. A sharp tug, and the switch was thrown. With a massive hiss of escaping steam, the clank pitched forward onto its knees, inert. Gil released himself at the last moment and landed lightly upon his feet. Nonchalantly dusting himself off, Gil remarked, “Well done, Father.”
    Klaus wheeled at him and roared, “LACKWIT! How dare you put yourself at risk! You or I may very well be this device’s quarry! I needed a distraction , not a sacrifice! That is what the Jägermonsters are for!”
    Boris looked askance at the sergeant. “A pity we can’t use them
    all.”
    The Jäger dismissed him with a good-natured wave of his hand. “Ah—go kees an hoctopoos . Oh vait, you mama already did!”
    His point made, Klaus began to examine the motionless device. The monster soldier sidled up to a silently fuming Gil and murmured. “Hey, keed.” Gil blinked as a large hairy hand descended on his shoulder. “Hyu deed pritty goot