need a new name.
02
Listen to This
âI t smells like the devil burped in here.â
Olivia had just shut the door of my room. She pulled two rolls of SweeTarts out of her pocket and tossed them to Amp, who was still sitting on my alarm clock.
âIt smells like that because he keeps eating those fart pills,â I said, still hunched over my math homework. âHey, did you get the one about the train leaving San Francisco at eight p.m.?â I asked, turning around in my chair.
Olivia is in my class at Reed School. Schoolwork isnât difficult for her. Olivia just sort of knows stuff. She usually finishes her math homework while everyone else is packing up to leave for the day. Sheâd be a real brain if she werenât so weird and didnât talk so much.
âForty-eight miles an hour is the answer,â she said, watching Amp flip SweeTarts into his mouth.
âForty-eight?â I croaked. âI have five hundred forty-four!â
âHow is that possible?â She laughed, shaking her head at me. âWhat train travels that fast, Whacky Zacky?â
âMaybe those Japanese bullet trains. I saw them on TV.â
âThey donât go that fast,â she corrected me. âTwo hundred miles an hour, tops.â
âWe have trainlike vehicles back on Erde,â Amp said, once again bragging about how great things were on his planet. âThey travel about as fast as sound travels here.â
âIâve told you before about talking with your mouth full,â I grumbled, turning back to my incorrect math problem. âYou may have fast trains on Erde, but we have something called manners here on this planet.â
âHas he been this grumpy the whole time?â Olivia asked Amp.
âSince he got home. Surprisingly, math makes him angry.â
Honestly, all our meetings about fixing Ampâs busted spaceship, getting him off this planet, and returning my life to normal went like this. What was the point of meeting if we never accomplished anything except pointing out all the things I do wrong? I was so not the problem.
There was a knock on my bedroom door. Olivia quickly moved to block the view of Amp from the doorway.
She always did this, even though Amp could easily make himself invisible to someone. He uses one of his Jedi mind tricks. He basically erases your memory of seeing him as you see him, so you instantly forget youâre seeing him while youâre looking at him.
I know, it sounds complicated. You get used to it. But Olivia always forgets he can do that.
The door clicked open and my little brother poked his head in.
âI heard you have SweeTarts,â he said. âI want some.â
âGo away, Taylor,â I groaned from my desk. âWeâre busy.â
Olivia reached into her pocket and tossed Taylor a roll of SweeTarts. He intentionally missed the catch so he could step all the way into my room. âHey, what are you guys doing?â he asked, looking around. âIt smells like burning toothpaste in here.â
Taylor knew something was up. He knew I was hiding a secret, and heâd dedicated his life to figuring out what it was. Heâd even built an army of spy robots to help him. Fortunately, Iâd destroyed most of them when I caught them in my room.
My parents are convinced Taylor is some kind of genius. He is only in the first grade and building robots. But I donât care. I think heâs only a genius at annoying me.
I got up and pushed him out of my room. âGo play with your robots, you Nosy Nelly.â I closed the door on him and leaned my back against it.
âBut I want to hang out with you guys,â he said from the other side of the door.
âBuzz off!â I shouted. I heard him walk down the squeaky hallway.
Olivia sat up on my bed. She had an odd look on her face. It was almost white, like sheâd seen a ghost.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â I ask.