All I Want for Christmas by Linda Reilly Page A

wasn’t being a prude and hoping for a centerfold model instead of some biker chick. God, I need to loosen up.
    “Anyway, look what I found.” Joey segued to another topic of conversation by depositing a cell phone into the middle of the table.
    “So?” Tyler shrugged.
    “We could crank call people.” Joey explained.
    “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I had to add in my sensibilities.
    Joey gave me a look. “Of course you would say that, mom.”
    I rolled my eyes. I was raised by a Jewish mother, what can I say?   “I’m only suggesting we could get into trouble.”
    Joey scrunched up his face. “By who? We’re using someone else’s phone. Who’s gonna know?” he asked. He flipped open the silver face and contemplated. “Who do we call first?”
    “What are we doing?” Jack asked as he walked up from the bar and set three beers on the table. I was still nursing my first one. Lightweight.
    “Crank calling someone on a phone Joey found in the bathroom.” Tyler said, suggesting by his tone it was an everyday occurrence.
    “Oh.” At least Jack was not impressed. “How about hitting one of the speed dials and seeing who answers?” Or he was just too good at coming up with better plans. Jack took a large swallow of his drink as the other two slapped his back and bumped knuckles with him. This night was taking on a weird dimension, and I was wondering exactly why I agreed to go out with them?
    “Well, which number do I push?” Joey hesitated.
    “Just hit one.” Tyler was not as tentative. He reached across the table and pushed a number blindly.
    “Two,” Joey read off the number as he looked at the phone. He lifted it to his ear. “It’s ringing.”
    We all stared, as if mesmerized by the randomness of the situation.
    “Shit! Somebody answered.” Joey immediately pulled the phone away from his ear and held it out like it would bite; his hand over the microphone end. “Take it. Somebody take it.” He panicked.
    “Pussy,” Tyler asserted, taking the phone from Joey’s hands. He promptly thrust the live grenade into my personal space and held it to my ear. “I bet Davey-boy can do it. He does anything.”
    Shit! They always do this to me. “Hello… hello?” I could hear the voice on the other end searching for a reply. It was a guy; a guy with a super-deep voice. I cleared my throat and pleaded with my eyes to Tyler to let me off the hook. He shook his head no, crossing his beefy arms over his broad chest.
    “Um, hello,” I responded to the stranger hoping he would not detect my anxiety.
    “This is not Oliver,” he stated the obvious with some amusement.
    “Um, no, we found his phone.” I explained, holding it away from my mouth and using my unhappy facial expressions to let Tyler know I was going to kill him for making me do this. Tyler pushed my hands back and prompted me to continue. Joey was trying, unsuccessfully, not to snicker.
    “I see,” the stranger said. “Then why call me? Surely you do not know the services I provide?” Did he just say what I thought he said? Services? Shit! Did Tyler randomly dial a male hooker?
    “Er, no, I didn’t. I, um, my friends, they just pushed a speed-dial number and you answered. I’m not interested in any services.” Now I know he could detect my anxiety. I was sure my voice went up at least three octaves.
    “Services?” Jack’s mirth was not so funny. He and Joey just looked at one another and started laughing so hard I could barely hear the guy on the other end of the phone.
    I gritted my teeth. “Shut up, you asshole.” I took my hand away from the microphone after I cleared my throat. Nerves of steel, nerves of steel, I told myself. “So, um, this Oliver guy, do you know where I might find him and return his phone?”
    “I do. Although he said he’d be out of town for a week or two. I could… meet you, somewhere… and retrieve his phone. Oliver and I see each other often; I could hold it for him until he