All My Friends Are Superheroes by Andrew Kaufman Page B

touches down in Vancouver, she’ll leave everything, Tom included, behind. All the pain, all the heartache, all the love she has for him, will disappear. She’ll make Vancouver perfect. She has the power to do this.It’s been six months since he disappeared. Six months is long enough.
    It was the Amphibian who pulled Tom off Hypno that night. He let Tom get in five punches. Hypno was down and his nose was bloody. The Amphibian decided five was enough. He grabbed Tom’s arms and pulled him off Hypno.
    Tom resisted. The Amphibian had to use all his strength to keep Tom’s arms pinned behind his back.
    ‘One more!’ Tom called.
    ‘It’s not going to help,’ the Amphibian said.
    ‘One more!’ Tom said.
    ‘It will not help,’ the Amphibian said.
    Tom’s arms went limp. He stopped resisting. Hypno smirked. Tom spit in Hypno’s face. He hadn’t wanted to invite Hypno to the wedding in the first place.
    The Amphibian and Tom are best friends now, but when Tom moved into town, he didn’t know anybody. He’d taken a job as a pool cleaner. The season was ending and Tom had nothing else lined up. He was draining a pool he hadn’t cleaned as scheduled. The water had a murky green hue. The people who owned the pool had been away for months and they were coming back the next day. The pool had to be dry and something was clogging the drain at the bottom.
    Tom took off his shoes. He took off his shorts and shirt. He dove naked into the pool and swam to the bottom.
    The chemicals made it impossible to keep his eyes open. He felt around with his hands. His fingers found somethingslimy. It was firm in the middle but the top layer felt soft. Tom pulled. Whatever it was was really stuck.
    Tom put his feet on the bottom of the pool, got his legs into it and freed whatever it was. He squinted his eyes open. What he saw made him gasp. He swallowed a mouthful of chlorine pool water, then raced for the surface as fast as he could.
    It easily beat him. It slipped out of the pool.
    Tom didn’t want to get out of the pool knowing it was waiting for him. He swam around, trying to figure out what to do. Eventually he ran out of breath and had to break the surface.
    ‘Thanks!’ the Amphibian said.
    Tom looked at the Amphibian’s green skin, webbed feet and webbed hands. He’d thought it was about to rip him limb from limb, and relief flooded through him when this didn’t happen.
    ‘No problem,’ Tom answered.
    ‘What’s your superpower?’ the Amphibian asked.
    ‘Superpower?’
    ‘Yeah, you know. Your superpower.’
    ‘I don’t have one,’ Tom told him. ‘I’m just regular.’
    ‘Really?’ the Amphibian said.
    Tom swam over to the side of the pool. They shook hands.
    The Amphibian introduced Tom to all his friends. All the Amphibian’s friends were superheroes. TheAmphibian’s friends became Tom’s friends. Now all of Tom’s friends are superheroes. But because they all have a superpower, and everyone they know has a superpower, having a superpower is nothing special to them. What’s special to them is not having a superpower. They can’t imagine how anyone could get through life without having a superpower. It seems unbelievable to them.
    ‘Now boarding rows 14 through 34. Rows 14 through 34 now boarding,’ the airline representative announces.
    The Perfectionist picks up her carry-on luggage. She stands in line. Tom waits in his seat. He hates standing in any line he doesn’t have to; the Perfectionist can’t watch any line she could be standing in. At this stage, they would have been separated anyway.

THREE

AMBROSE HEART-REPAIR SERVICE
    For the first week of invisibility Tom did nothing but follow her around. There are perks to having your lover believe you’re invisible. He watched the Perfectionist dress and undress. He watched what she watched on television when she thought he wasn’t around – mainly game shows and reruns. He watched her separate the coloured laundry into shades. In ways, his