Aria in Ice by Flo Fitzpatrick Page A

actress and added, “Just as
well. If I had to perform opposite you on screen I’d be so consumed
by your presence that I doubt I’d be able to remember a single
line.”
    Smooth. And had just a hint of sarcasm crept
in?
    Sarcasm which sailed right over Ms. Lowe’s
yellow hair. She was about to turn her simpering wiles on Johnny
but I tossed in a question to grab her interest for at least a
second or two and keep me from maiming the leading lady within four
minutes of meeting her.
    I turned to Shay. “Got our new movie title
yet?”
    She fluttered her lashes. “Quite
possibly.”
    Something exceedingly trashy was coming
up.
    Have I mentioned that during breaks at
Seven-D, when we weren’t engaged in watching Endless Time ,
rehearsing for shows, eating ridiculously calorie-laden meals or
discussing our love lives, we’d rediscovered the enthralling world
of the Gothic romances of our youth? I’d learned that both of us
had fallen for the Gothics when we were eleven. Shay in Wisconsin,
me in Texas but the same passion for cheap thrills and dumb
heoines. We’d inhaled Gothics primarily written in the
Nineteen-Sixties and Seventies—the quintessential era for dark
heroes and sweet heroines who found lasting love after initially
fearing, distrusting and almost killing one another—accidentally of
course. Our favorite -and coincidentally a favorite of Bambi
Bohacek—was a two-hundred page drama simply called
“ Honoria.” It was the reason we were now in the Czech
Republic making this film. The plot was not unique: sweet and
lovely heroine, orphaned after her professor father’s death (mother
died when heroine was toddler) is sent to the scary home of one of
her father’s ex-students, the even scarier, psychologically and
physically scarred, semi-alcoholic, but brilliant, lord of the
manor. What the plot lacked in originality it more than made up for
with character and word skills. The writing was excellent, the
heroine was damn spunky for a Gothic female, the hero sexy, dark
and—heroic, and the setting was—in a word—cool. A large estate
somewhere in the mountains of Bavaria.
    Shay had been given free rein by Bambi to
name the movie. We’d been debating titles over the phone for weeks
now. The top contenders were, “ Turret of Dream Shadows ”, “Damsel in Darkness,” and “Nightmares of Count
Zilania.” Shay refused to go with the simplicity of “Honoria ” . It wasn’t cheesy enough.
    I shuddered, wondering which of these would
be flashed across a large screen in about thirteen months.
    Shay winked at me. “Don’t look so concerned.
I came up with a wonderful name. Even you will agree it passes the
cheese test.”
    I wasn’t sure if that were a good or bad
thing. “Yeah, what?”
    She paused for dramatic effect. “ The Naked
Mistress of Dark Silhouette Tower. ”
    Franz, Corbin, Lily and I all just stared at
her for a moment. Johnny didn’t stare. He was carefully clutching
his sides and biting his lips. Shay was right. Brie, cheddar, or
Swiss—the cheese smelled strong, but the title grabbed one
nonetheless. It also scared me more than Count Zilania after a
night imbibing whiskey.
    I chortled,”Wait! Wait! That sounds like a
porn movie. Since when is Honoria naked? And is Honoria still
Honoria or did she get a name change?”
    Shay fluttered her lashes, then sneered. “Be
serious, Abby. Naked sells. Porn, romance, internet. You name it.
If it has no clothes, it’s a winner. Although, for the record,
we’re keeping this PG-rated. Lily will stay in her stays. As for
Honoria? Are you nuts? Of course I’m changing the name. Honoria
sounds like a Victorian venereal disease. Our mistress of the
towers is now Kelsey.”
    “Say what?” I exclaimed. “As in ‘Grammar’—as
in Frasier reruns?”
    Instead of responding, Shay flashed every
tooth she owned in a smile directed at Johnny. “So, Mr. Gerard?
What do you do? For a living. That is,” her volume lowered,
“when you’re not