Ball Peen Hammer by Lauren Rowe Page A

entertaining and touching and funny. One critic called it ‘ Hoop Dreams with a gender twist.’”
    “I’m assuming that’s a huge compliment?”
    “Huge.”
    “You know how I knew that, even though I’ve never heard of Hoop Dreams ?”
    “How?
    “Because by the expression on your face, it’s clear that other movie is your idea of porn.”
    Maddy belly laughs at that. “Yes, it is, actually.”
    I laugh with her. “What’s your movie called?”
    “ Shoot Like a Girl .”
    “Ah. Very cool.”
    “Thank you.”
    “And, just so you know, when I said ‘cool’ just now? I was spelling that ‘k-e-w-l.’”
    “ Wow . It must be really cool, then.”
    “It is.”
    We share another huge smile.
    “So how’d you get the idea for your movie?” I ask.
    “You sure you wanna hear this? It’s kinda long.”
    I motion to the road ahead of us. “It appears I’ve got some free time.”
    Maddy takes a deep breath and launches into an explanation of how she was hired to film both teams’ basketball games for the coaches to use the footage at practices. “And, right away,” she says, “when I started attending both teams’ games, it irked me how, at the men’s games, the stands were always jam-packed with screaming fans, while at the women’s games, the place was usually only a quarter-filled and as quiet as a morgue. And that gave me my idea. So I got all necessary approvals and was allowed to shoot more than just games—you know, interviews with players, practices, stuff like that. And when I finally started editing all the footage I’d shot, I realized, ‘Oh my effing God, I think I’ve captured lightning in a bottle here.’ I just knew I had the makings of an edge-of-your-seat sports movie combined with thought-provoking social commentary. There was even a little side story of unrequited love, because this one guy on the men’s team was obviously in love with one of the female players, and she had no idea about it. I kept showing footage of the guy sitting in the stands at the women’s games, yearning for her. It was so sweet.”
    “Did the guy wind up getting the girl after she saw the movie?”
    “No,” Maddy says, clearly disappointed. “She saw the movie—but they didn’t get together.”
    “What? How is that possible?”
    Maddy makes an exaggerated sad face. “She told him she just wanted to be friends .”
    “What the fuck?” I say. “I’m so bummed. That’s not the way that story’s supposed to end.”
    “I know. The dreaded friend zone.” She smiles ruefully. “Unfortunately, it’s a permanent address for some of us.”
    “Damn. I was thinking you were gonna say she saw the movie and they lived happily ever after.”
    “That’s definitely the ending I would have written if my film had been scripted.”
    “Shit, I feel like I wanna call that guy up and give him some lessons on slaying it with the ladies. There’s absolutely no excuse for a guy to get friend-zoned, ever.”
    “Well, it’s not his fault. If there’s no chemistry, there’s no chemistry. Some things can’t be forced.”
    “It’s not about forcing a goddamned thing. If a guy knows what he’s doing, then chemistry with any girl he wants is a foregone conclusion.”
    Maddy glances away from the road to shoot me a snarky look. “You do realize you sounded like a serial-killer-psychopath just now, right?”
    “I thought that guy was a baller?”
    “Well, he plays basketball , yes, but he’s really shy. Not everyone is like you, Keane.”
    “Shy or not, there’s no excuse for a guy to get friend-zoned, especially a baller.”
    “So you’re telling me you’ve never been friend-zoned?”
    I scoff. “Of course not.”
    “Oh my God. I’m driving twelve hundred miles with a psychopath.”
    “It’s never happened to me. How does that make me a psychopath?”
    “It’s awfully hard for me to believe you’ve never been rejected once in your whole life.”
    “Oh, I’ve been rejected —girls have