Beautiful Chaos by Chandin Whitten Page A

my dick to the point I was going to lose it with her.
    All it took was Jenna getting off and calling out, “Fuck. I love you.”
    As my body jerked with her I said, “I love you too baby, infinity.”
    Rolling us so we were both lying on the couch facing each other, I pulled the blanket off the back and covered us.
    Jenna outlined the tattoos on my chest while biting down on her bottom lip and hesitantly asked, “Will you ever tell me about your past? I mean, like your dad and what you were like before I met you.”
    I knew Jenna had wondered about my past. It’s not something I liked to talk about, but I owed it to her. She had told me everything about her past, her hurt. I wanted to tell her but I didn’t want to scare her away. If she left, I would lose everything that means something to me.
    Sighing I clo sed my eyes. Just as I was going to start telling her, Jenna said, “You don’t have to tell me. Don’t feel obligated. I want to know, but not until you’re comfortable and ready to tell me.”
    “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s that I don’t want to scare you away. I f I lose you and Evie,” I sucked in my breath and shook my head. “I lose everything. I don’t know what I would do without you two…well I guess now it’s without you four.” I rubbed my hand over her small baby bump.
    “Your past won’t change the love I have for you. Weren’t you the one who told me not too long ago that my past didn’t matter, you love me anyway?” Jenna kissed me softly.
    “I just don’t know where to start…” I trailed off and looked back out the window.
    Jenna ran her hand down my cheek and used her thumb to rub over my lips. “I love you.”
    “Love you too, baby.”

CHAPTER 2
     
    Reaching for Jenna’s hand I pulled it to my mouth, kissing it softly before intertwining our fingers and resting our hands on my chest.
    “Just thinking about my dad is hard, I tried to block his memory out, stop the pain. I tried for years to numb the pain but nothing worked until I met you.”
    Jenna smiled and said, “You made my life better, too.”
    “I was twelve years old when my dad was shot. It was June seventh at nine nineteen in the morning. He was a police officer in Cincinnati and got called to a robbery with hostages. Being the first on scene he didn’t want to wait and went into the bank. As soon as he stepped through the doors he was shot, point blank range. Once in the chest, once in the head. We were told he died instantly. I guess that’s supposed to make it ok, make it all better. I still remember what I was doing that day and what happened over the next few weeks. It’s like it just happened, and it was over ten years ago.”
    Jenna kissed my cheek softly and whispered, “I love you so much and to think of everything you went through at such a young age breaks my heart.”
    Before I could say anything else Jenna’s phone was ringing. Jenna leaned up and grabbed her phone off the coffee table. Scrunching her brows together and drawing her lips into a flat line Jenna answered and said, “Mom? Is everything ok?”
    Jenna was biting down on her bottom lip when she raised her tear filled green eyes up to meet mine.
    I instantly was worried. Jenna had lost her father eighteen months earlier and I knew she was still dealing with that pain. Now Jenna’s pregnant and she didn’t need anything else to worry about.
    “Ok, mom. Just calm down. Dakota is only barely fourteen, how much trouble could he really get in?...What?...I’m coming home mom…I’m beating the hell out of him…I love him and there is no way my little brother is going to be acting this way…Mom, he’s not the only one who lost someone when dad died, we all did.”
    Jenna stood and walked to the end table, where her laptop was charging. She opened the screen and clicked the internet symbol.
    “I’m booking a flight now. I will be there sometime tomorrow. I love you, mom,” Jenna said just before hanging up