Beautiful Illusions by Annie Jocoby Page A

where we were. I also felt that it was presumptuous that Ryan believed that my acquiescence was equivalent to understanding. I simply didn’t protest. I really didn’t understand.
    The three of us made our way to the Escalade, the dogs being hauled by me on leashes. Ryan made no attempt to hold my hand, of course. He barely even walked with me . Alexis was walking very close to him, trying to cling on to his arm, but I could tell that he wasn’t having it. I could just imagine what was going through his mind at this point. My heart went out to him.
    To my surprise, my heart went out to her, as well .
    We made our way towards my apartment, to my dismay, in silence. I’m being dropped off first? Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. Alexis was in the front seat, and I was in the back with the dogs. Not really sure how that was arranged, or how that happened. Of course, I didn’t speak up for myself. I really didn’t feel that I was in a position to do so. I had only known him for a week. Alexis was with him for at least two years, and they had, and lost, a child together.
    Ryan dropped me off. He opened the door, and I got out. Alexis was in the front seat, glaring at us both. He kissed me on the forehead. “I’m so sorry for this,” he whispered. “I’ll see you later.”
    At that, he got back into driver’s side, backed up the Escalade, and drove off.

Chapter Nine
    Awkward parting was starting to become a pattern. As it turned out, the last awkward parting was my fault. This time, I knew that I did nothing wrong. I sighed. I was surprisingly not that upset. After all, the last time I left him, I assumed I would never see him again. I wasn’t going to jump to that conclusion this time. I did realize that I was on a roller coaster, but I preferred to stay on it for now and see it through.
    I hope he feels the same way.
    I half expected him to appear at my apartment again that night, after talking Alexis down off the ledge.
    However, that didn’t happen .
    He did, however, appear at my apartment the next day. “I was hoping you’d be home,” he s aid, as I let him in the door. “I’m so sorry for the drama. I’m also sorry that I keep dropping in on you.”
    That’s ok. The apartment’s clean this time. I had actually just gotten finished with my laundry – I couldn’t sleep the previous night because of what happened at the park, so I decided to be constructive and get my laundry done. All five loads of it. I ended up washing all the clothes which were thrown on the closet floor, and they were now hung up or put into drawers, depending on the type of clothes they were. I also was able to sort out my dry clean only clothes from the pile, and these were stuffed into a garbage bag. This garbage bag was by the door, so that I hopefully wouldn’t forget to take them to the cleaner’s the next time I was out and about.
    “Actually, that isn’t a problem, ” I said, referring to him dropping in on me again.
    He looked relieved and surprised. “I can’t believe that you’re not infuriated after what happened last night.”
    “I could tell that Alexis was very emotional. I could also tell that you were in a bind.”
    He looked at me , then kissed me passionately. “You’re an amazing woman.”
    I smiled. “Thanks, you’re an amazing guy.”
    We went out onto my balcony, and sat down, my feet up on the wooden rail. I had prepared some iced tea. I was drinking way too much lately, and had to take a break.
    I looked at him, expectantly. He wasn’t saying anything, just staring straight ahead .
    “Uh, how do I say this to you….” He started to open his mouth to say something, thought better of it, then resumed to staring straight ahead .
    I started to feel worried. I naturally figured that whatever he was trying to say, it was not going to be good news for me. I immediately felt selfish for thinking this thought. He’s going through something terrible, it’s probably even worse than it looks,