Bitter Farewell by Karolyn James Page A

hair was clean and parted to the side. His father looked as smooth as he could for a man who drank himself into this position. His hands were neatly folded near his chest.
    Religious pictures graced the back of the casket, along with a picture of his wife, Johnnie and Danny’s mother. Danny touched the picture and lifted it. He stared at his mother and that’s when the emotion really hit him. She had given her eyes to Johnnie and Danny. She had given her spirit to Johnnie, for sure. And she had given her drive to Danny.
    “Leave it,” a voice whispered.
    Danny swallowed, holding back his tears. “You put this in here?”
    “I did,” Johnnie said. “She was his wife, no matter what.”
    “She deserved better,” Danny said. “A man who really loved her. Cared for her.”
    Danny felt Johnnie’s strong hands grip his shoulders. “I know, brother, I know. But it was his wife. Give him something to have. I’m sure wherever he is right now, he’s facing his guilt and his demons.”
    Danny put the picture back in its place and stepped away from the casket. He looked at the five black chairs next to the casket and shook his head. He watched as Chris, Davey, and Rick slowly walked to the chairs and stood there. This was what it was all about. The fans who gave Chasing Cross life also gave life to the relationships off stage. To the deep rooted connections. This was the part of the band that most didn’t get to see but perhaps it was the most important. Knowing that things would be okay and go smoothly, even off stage. Just like the way Danny and Davey could play guitar solos on opposite ends of the stage without missing a note, Davey knew when to look at Danny, knew when to smile, and knew when to say something.
    “It’s ten to,” the funeral director said as he looked at his watch. “There’s a couple people already outside...”
    “It’s fine,” Johnnie said.
    Chasing Cross took their seats next to the open casket of Big John .
    The two hours went by faster than Danny thought it would. The people that showed up actually amazed him. But when the first group of people walked by, paid their respects, hugged Johnnie and Danny, then shook hands with the rest of the band, Danny realized something. When he looked to the line, he saw people staring at him and the band like they were at an autograph session. It almost felt that way too, minus the long table, posters, and better atmosphere.
    Then it finally happened...
    A girl - Danny recognized her but he couldn’t be sure if her name was Sarah, Sandy, or maybe Paula for all he knew - stopped at Danny and hugged him tight.
    “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I love your music. We should get a drink tonight. I can help... with the pain...”
    She looked at Danny and bit her lip.
    Danny just stared back, holding himself together by a small thread.
    The next group of people were all men, guys younger than Danny. They certainly knew nothing about Big John but they did want a chance to shake the hands of Chasing Cross. One of them even had the balls to wear a Chasing Cross shirt under their buttoned down shirt.
    Danny felt his hands forming fists and was ready to let loose.
    Johnnie leaned towards Danny and whispered, “This is their life too... don’t forget that...”
    Danny swallowed his pride and pain and knew what his brother meant.
    The fans of Chasing Cross weren’t just in it for the music or the concerts. They were in it for the purpose of the music, the meaning behind it all, and it obviously ran deep.
    Rick elbowed Danny and opened his suit jacket to show Danny a small flask. Danny licked his lips, wanting it so bad. But the people kept coming and the last thing Danny wanted to do was fit any sort of stereotypical rockstar image... like pulling out a flask at a wake and chugging some sweet burning booze.
    “Later,” Danny whispered.
    The people continued to filter through the funeral home, some of them taking a seat as they waited for the priest to say