prayed that if there was a God above, He would allow me to rot also.
And as I lay there, sleep finally overcame me. I thought my wish was being granted, that death had finally come to claim me. The year was 1410 and I did not emerge again until twenty-five years later, in the long reign of Henry VI.
Had Kate not died at my hands, she would most probably have been dead by then anyway, but her loss was still a fresh wound in my mind, no less than if she had died only the night before. And it was not merely the loss of Kate that filled me with despair, but the realization that I could never have a companion, that there would never be someone with whom I could share the endless years of my existence.
Time would pass and I would forget and be tempted again by human company, and it took me hundreds of years to understand that there was nothing to gain from it, only loss for me, and danger for those who came too close.
11
Eloise insisted on carrying her own bags. The large one was a backpack, but even though she lumbered awkwardly under its weight, she refused his assistance.
They entered through the South Gate, but Will put on his dark glasses and stayed on the busiest of the roads, partly for her sense of safety, partly to avoid passing the Whole Earth again.
When she saw that he was wearing the sunglasses, she said mockingly, âNice! You do know itâs the middle of the night. You look like a complete â¦â
âI have an eye condition. The light troubles me.â
âOh, Iâm sorry,â she said, temporarily forgetting her anger and fear. As if reminding herself that she had nothing to apologize for, she asked tetchily, âWhere are we going anyway? To your squat, I suppose?â
âThere is no squat. Weâre going to church.â
She stopped suddenly, so fast that heâd walked a couple of paces before realizing she was no longer with him. He turned and walked back to her and she said with a hint of alarm in her voice, âYouâre not a born-again Christian, are you?â
He didnât know what a born-again Christian was, but he said, âNo, I donât think so. I was born a Christian, but I â¦â He tried to think of words that would sum up his fall from grace, but instead, he became puzzled by the tone of her question and asked, âIs a born-again Christian more disturbing to you than what weâve just seen?â
Eloise clearly thought it was a rhetorical question because she said, âPoint taken,â and started walking again. âItâs not like Iâm anti-Christian or anything. I even go at Christmas. Itâs just the born-again varietyâI find them a bit freaky.â
He couldnât help but smile to himself. He still didnât have the first notion of what a born-again Christian was and didnât want to ask, but he doubted that it could be any more freakish than him. And in turn, that thought dragged the smile from his face because it reminded him that he had disturbing things to tell her. Nor was he entirely certain of how he could make this end well.
The floodlit spire was looming ahead of them in the night sky, and as he took a left turn, Eloise realized precisely where they were heading and asked as casually as she could manage, âWhen you say weâre going to church, do you mean weâre going to the cathedral?â
âYes,â he said. âI still think of it as a church, but youâre right, itâs always been a cathedral.â
âBut itâll be closed,â she protested, still apparently struggling to see that none of the rules of her world applied any more. She had just seen him fight off a demon, using powers that few humans could call upon, yet she still thought a closed sign would be a barrier to him.
âI have a key.â
âOf course you do,â she replied sarcastically. âBecause what, you do a lot of voluntary work in your spare time?â
He smiled