Blood at the Premiere: A Day One Undead Adventure by RR Haywood

screams, but the buildings are high, which warps the echo and rolling noises and ruins any chance of gaining anything other than vague directional hearing.
    ‘Do either of you know where we are?’ Dolan asks, breaking the silence.
    ‘Oh we were at that movie premier,’ Bennie says.
    ‘No. I mean where we are geographically, as in the precise location with a knowledge of which direction to take.’
    ‘No,’ Henrietta says.
    ‘I don’t know what you just said,’ Bennie says.
    ‘Brilliant,’ Dolan mutters. ‘Trapped in a fucking nightmare with a page-three girl and a village idiot.’
    ‘Henrietta ain’t a page-three girl,’ Bennie says in her defence.
    ‘I was,’ Henrietta admits quietly. ‘Long time ago.’
    Bennie looks at her in serious judgement while she stares ahead feeling a strange sense of shame. ‘So cool,’ Bennie says after careful deliberation. ‘I bet you were the best page-three girl ever, Henrietta.’
    Dolan huffs audibly, ‘And when we’ve finished discussing the finer merits of Henrietta taking her clothes off perhaps we can apply our minds to the present situation.’
    ‘Sorry, Dolan,’ Henrietta says, looking from Bennie to him.
    ‘Are you gay?’ Bennie asks, leaning to look past Henrietta.
    Dolan huffs again but adds a caustic roll of his eyes for effect. ‘Failing to show excitement at seeing nipples does not automatically render someone homosexual. Some people strive towards intellectual stimulation in an effort to rise above base feelings of lust.’
    ‘I like nipples,’ Bennie says.
    ‘Please!’ Dolan snaps. ‘Can we focus on how the hell I am going to get out of here.’
    ‘Out of London, mate?’ Bennie asks helpfully. ‘Probably a train. Which way you going?’
    ‘Henrietta, tell your friend to shut up,’ Dolan mutters darkly.
    ‘Like…train fare ain’t cheap, though,’ Bennie adds, remembering the recent past when he had to pay for everything himself.
    ‘We need a police station,’ Dolan says.
    ‘The police won’t take you out of London,’ Bennie replies, still leaning to look past Henrietta. ‘Me and my mate asked ’em for a lift home once and they told us to piss off and said they’re not a taxi service, but then my mate said he pays taxes which means they work for him…but he didn’t actually pay tax cos he didn’t have a job…but then they nicked him and took him to the cop shop, but that was round the corner from his house so, like, really they did give him a lift home.’
    ‘Henrietta,’ Dolan growls low and terse. ‘Please make that bloody twat be quiet.’
    ‘Bennie, we need to be quiet for a minute,’ Henrietta says softly.
    ‘Thank you,’ Dolan says with a scowl. ‘I think we should focus on finding a police station or at least a business that has a landline. The police have jammed the mobile networks so they have to take responsibility for the fact they have stranded professional and important people in amongst the dregs and plebs of inner-city London. Seriously, there will be hell to pay if I have to suffer another hour of this and I will take legal action if I suffer any physical injury. Actually, I will be taking legal action for the emotional distress already caused, and let me tell you something, causing emotional distress to the head of factual programming for a non-government-funded terrestrial television channel is not a good thing to do. Oh no. No, no, no. No, sir, not a wise thing to do at all. This…’ He pauses to wave his hand about at the surrounding street. ‘This will be exposed. All of it. Leaving innocent people to die in a theatre while the authorities shut down the networks? What the hell are they thinking? I’ll do a series of programmes on it…oh yes…from the root cause to the sheer incompetence of the police, the commissioner, the bloody mayor and all the way up to the bloody prime minister if I have to…’
    I could present it. I was here…I mean I am here. I could be part of that programme.