Boys Beware by Jean Ure Page A

are great of Wackeen but not so good of me. Well, I don’t think they are. I think they make me look lumpy. I said this to Tash and she told me that I was talking rubbish. She said, “Nothing could make you look lumpy, you’re far too slim.”
    I said, “But my face looks fat! Look at it!”
    Tash looked and said she couldn’t see anything wrong with my face, and she took the photographs to school with her and insisted on showing them to everyone.

    I kept trying to stop her. I screeched, “No, don’t! They’re horrible!” But people just kept snatching and grabbing and passing them round.
    Actually, I don’t think they’re
too
bad. Of me, I mean. It’s only one that makes me look lumpy. The rest are quite good, I might even take them into Boots and get them blown up, except maybe that would be a bit show-offy. It’s not like I’m a movie star, or anything! But there is one of me and Wackeen together that I specially like. Everyone was going “Ooh” and “Aah” as they looked at it. I wonder if he will ever write to me???

    Avril said it was a pity I couldn’t bring him along tomorrow as we are going to be very short of boys, so then we had to break the bad news about Gus not coming. Everyone was hugely disappointed, it made us feel like we had let them down. Kim said, “Well! I thought by now you’d have managed to get somewhere.” We found this remark somewhat irritating. Like she thought
she
would have got anywhere!
    Tash, with great dignity, said, “It just so happens that he’s not into girls.”
    There was this sort of silence, then Ishara, who is still quite babyish, said, “How can you tell?”
    Tash said, “You just can.”
    “Like if he doesn’t fancy
Tash
,” I said.
    “And he doesn’t fancy Em—”
    “He could still come along,” said Kim.
    But we cannot face another brush off! It would be too humiliating. We quickly changed the subject and told them instead about Ali and how she had brought this old woman all covered in fleas back home with her. Everyone immediately screeched out in horror: “Ugh! Fleas!”
    I said, “Yes, it was foul, but that’s Ali for you.”
    Kim said, “Gross!”
    Zoella wanted to know if Ali had got herself a boyfriend yet, and me and Tash gave these hollow laughs, like ho-ho-ho, but without any chuckle in the middle. I said this was what worried us. “How will she
ever
get one? She never goes anywhere, she never does anything!”
    Zoella then said that she had this great idea. She said her cousin William is staying with them over the weekend. She said he’s fifteen and “quite nice” and “hugely clever” but kind of “not very good-looking, if you know what I mean?” She says he finds it difficult to get girlfriends, being a bit shy as well as not very good-looking. She said, “He’d be just right for Ali!”

    Tash and I agreed that he sounded like Ali’s sort of person, and Avril has said it’s OK if they both come along, so now we are really hopeful that we may have found a boyfriend for her. Tash says they will be able to sit together and be as clever as they like.
    I said, “Yes, they can spend all evening talking to each other about red midgets and exploding holes and black whatever they ares.” And it won’t matter if Ali refuses to get dressed up or let us fix her hair, cos William won’t be fashion conscious and he probably won’t even notice that she chews her nails, and she won’t mind that he’s not good-looking cos they’ll both be far too busy talking boffin talk.
    It will be such a relief if we can get Ali set up! It will be a weight off our minds. It will mean that we can concentrate all our energies on ourselves, for a change. I think Mum will be pleased too, cos I know she worries about Ali. Tash says we should have done it ages ago. “Found a boy for Ali.” She says Ali will be so much happier being
normal.
I agree! It can’t be nice to always feel that you are an outsider.
    She is not here at the moment, but