Burial in the Clouds by Hiroyuki Agawa Page B

Why, at such a crucial time, would he kill himself, wasting his valuable skills?
    I asked Instructor Yamaguchi about it when he stopped by the barracks after dinner. “It was probably a woman,” he replied matter-of-factly. But as to that, my mind wasn’t settled, and in the evening I got poor marks during signal-communication drills. The transmission speed is fifty-five letters per minute. From the OD’s room, the instructor sent in all manner of playful messages.
    â€œHaveyoufoundlarkeggs?”
    "Yesterdayastudentsnuckintothekitchentocabbagesugar Iknowwhodiditbutwon'ttelltheseniorofficersDestroythismessag ewhenyougetit." (Those who got it laughed.)
    â€œRaiseyourhandifyougetthefollowingabbreviationsn.”
    â€œ hoshiyohoshi.” (This means “from gunner to gunner.”)
    â€œ kayotsushi.” (“from captain to signaler.”)
    â€œ tototototo .” (“make an all-out charge”—a signal we will doubtless use some day.)
    They made the rounds at 2130. Senior Aviation Petty Officer D.’s suicide left me dismayed.
    June 28
    In the morning, the chief flight officer gave us a lesson on torpedo tactics in the drill hall. But whatever the topic (navigation, torpedoes, etc.) it is all basically a review of what we learned at Tsuchiura. This officer doesn’t appear to be comfortable in the classroom anyway, and his talk grew livelier when he turned to the military situation on Saipan.
    The newspapers all say, “Our women bravely rise up! Reenactment of the Mongolian Invasions at Iki Island!” But it seems the hostile troops have already seized a good portion of the island. Should Saipan fall, all the bases north of the South Sea Islands, such as those on Tinian, Iwo-jima, Guam, and Truk, will likely be useless, and the enemy will advance full clip toward the Philippines and mainland Japan. We have yielded control of the skies, and the enemy task force cruises freely around the Marianas. I hear that the combined fleet lost three of its jewels—the aircraft carriers Taiho, Shokaku, and Hiyo —and that it has already left the theater of operations, fleeing to a point not so very far from where we sit behind the scenes. The enemy fleet has emerged more or less unscathed, they say. It’s distressing to think that this operation degenerated into yet another lost battle. Japan must retain some kind of confidence in her future success, but it’s all so mortifying. I cant bear to sit on my hands back here. Sometimes I fear we might not complete our training in time. But even as I say this, the thought steals into my mind that I might actually return home alive. I banish this idea as best I can, partly because we are forbidden to entertain it, but mostly because I know I lose my edge in the cockpit if I ever allow it to take root, and this would be dangerous. There is no denying that the grim complexion of the war unsettles me, though. I am also, to some degree, affected by Fujikura’s opinions.
    Flight training this afternoon, as the sky cleared up. They say the better trainees be allowed to fly solo before long. I guess I’m making some sort of progress, but I had a stomach problem for three days, coinciding more or less with the naval battle in the Marianas. I brought up three large basins of vomit, so exhausting myself that I had to take a few days off, and thus I’ve fallen behind. I feel very questionable.
    Today I was assigned the duty of recording secretary. I attended the division officer at field headquarters, clipboard in hand, and timed each flight from takeoff to landing.
    â€œAircraft #X taking off.”
    â€œThe wind has shifted.”
    â€œAircraft #Y, you are not clear for takeoff.”
    â€œâ€˜Gyro’ requests permission to land.”
    â€œâ€˜Gyro’ may land.”
    â€˜â€œDeck’ will now land.”
    On and on it went. It was quite nerve-wracking.
    Wakatsuki suffered an accident. His plane