CAPRIATI'S BLOOD (ALTON RHODE MYSTERIES Book 1) by Lawrence de Maria Page B

means that there is no such thing as a jumbo shrimp,” Alice Watts said.
    “Well, Rhode,” Lancaster said archly, “what brings you to this soiree?”
    “Cactus.”
    “I beg your pardon.”
    “You know, those big green plants with the sharp spines? Apparently they have aphrodisiac effects and their spines may even be used in primitive, if admittedly painful, fertility rituals.”
    “Where did you study? Are you an expert in the field?”
    Taking into account that the shrimp remark went over his head, the fact that Lancaster didn’t even question the blarney I’d just spouted confirmed all I needed to know about him. I noticed Alice cover an incipient laugh with a cough.
    “Actually, it’s more of an amateur avocation of mine that the Garden lets me indulge. I’m here as a guest of Nancy Robart.”
    “Well, then, what do you do in real life?”
    “I’m a private investigator.”
    “Indeed.”
    It was said with just the right amount of condescension.
    “Would that explain the bullet wounds?” Alice said.
    “No.”
    “Were you a police officer?”
    “What happened to dashing bank robber?”
    “I don’t think they can get a private eye license.”
    “True. I was a cop, but emerged relatively unscathed. My wounds are more prosaic.” Prosaic? Who was I trying to impress? Alice or Professor Pain-in-the Ass? “I used to be in the reserves and I got called up. Forgot to duck.”
    “Indeed,” Lancaster said. “Such are the wages of imperialism.”
    I’d almost forgotten about Pierce. He didn’t like to be cut out of any conversation, even when he found it beneath him. I also got the impression that he did not like me talking to Alice Watts. Perhaps it was the two “indeeds” back to back. I was about to offer a witty riposte when Dr. Bradley walked over to join us. He knew everyone but me, so Alice made an introduction.
    “He’s a private eye,” Lancaster said with a “heh, heh.”
    To his credit, Bradley did not say, “indeed.” Instead he shook my hand firmly and mentioned that he was thinking about introducing a criminal justice curriculum at Wagner. What did I think of the idea? Lancaster looked deflated as Bradley and I chatted a few minutes.
    “We have a mutual acquaintance, Dr. Bradley,” I said. “Dave Clapper.”
    Might as well piss Lancaster off some more.
    “Dave is doing a terrific job as my chief of staff,” Bradley said. “Don’t you agree, Pierce?”
    It was obvious that Lancaster didn’t agree. He tried to change the subject.  
    “Do you carry a gun, shamus?”
    The “shamus” was meant to be derogatory. I kind of liked the word.
    “Always.”
    “Even now?”
    He raised his eyebrows and looked at Bradley for collegial condemnation. I looked around and spotted some executive board members.
    “Especially now.”
    Bradley had noticed my room survey and laughed. Lancaster looked confused. It was a good look for him. He had been asking all the questions. I decided to do some detecting of my own.
    “How long have you been at Wagner College, Pierce?”
    He didn’t like me using his first name. Which is why I did.
    “I celebrate my 20 th anniversary at the institution this year,” he said.
    From the look Bradley gave him I’d bet he didn’t think that was a reason to celebrate.
    “Excuse me,” Bradley said. “I see Nancy at the podium shushing the crowd. I believe it’s time to pay the piper. Alice, you are lovelier every time I see you.”
    He walked to the podium where Nancy introduced him and explained that henceforth Wagner science students who interned at the botanical garden would now earn real college credits as part of the new alliance between the two entities. After appropriate applause, Bradley made a few remarks. More applause and then the both of them began working the room and everyone went back to drinking and eating.
    “Sounds like a wonderful idea,” Alice said.
    “Another Bradley brainstorm,” Lancaster sniffed. “Gardening 101.”
    I’d