Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men by Regan Wolfrom Page B

he said. “ Ou va pou tout tan nan bra Papa selès la .”
    And then it was off.
    He held the ear up for me to see. It didn’t look like something that had been a part of me; it looked cold and shriveled.
    “ Piga ou vire do ban mwen lè m'ap rele nan pye ou .”
    I wasn’t going to be able to wear my hair up anymore.
    “You’re invincible now,” Pouchon said. “She cannot hurt you.”
    “Can you hurt me?” I asked.
    “No one can. Other than our master.”
    “And who the hell is that?”
    “We need to go.”
    “What about my friends?” I said. “And Cadance?”
    “They’ll be safe,” he replied.
    “Those two zombies will attack them the moment we are gone.”
    “Those zombies are coming with us. Call them.”
    “I don’t speak voodoo,” I said.
    “You know the words...”
    He was right; I did.
    “ Vini ,” I said. I started to walk back to the stables.
    The two macoutes followed behind me, as did Pouchon.
    And somehow that didn’t surprise me.

    We stepped out of the woods and into the parking lot.
    Kathleen saw us. She was standing with Gary. The two gunmen weren’t there.
    “You’ve returned, Pouchon,” she said. “You killed my men and you almost killed poor Gary here. I’m not about to forgive you for that.”
    “I brought someone,” he said.
    “I know. Another bokor macoute . How exciting for us all.”
    “Yeah, I’m Amanda,” I said. “We’ve met like a couple of times now.”
    “I know who you are. I’ve known about you for a very long time. Why do you think I had them bring you here?”
    “The cinnamon challenge?”
    “Marinette can’t stop me,” she said, “no matter how many fat American whores she fills with the rotten seed of her sons.”
    “This is starting to sound pretty personal.”
    “Who is your father, Amanda Hackensack? Why don’t you carry his name?”
    “It was a crazy time,” I said. “Somalia, Tonya Harding, the last few seasons of Full House had really jumped the shark... there were a lot of bastards born back then.”
    “Your father was a loa ... a spirit.”
    “I know what a loa is... um... apparently...”
    “That’s what makes you a bokor macoute . Marinette asks for your left ear and in return she gives you power over your brothers in bondage.”
    “My brothers?”
    “She means the other macoutes ,” Pouchon said.
    “So what’s stopping me from ordering every zombie in a mile radius from ripping you to pieces?” I asked her.
    “What’s stopping me from doing the same to you?” she replied.
    “So it’s a Mexican standoff.”
    “A vodou standoff,” Pouchon said. “It happens more than you’d think.”
    “My power is stronger,” she said. “I am the mount of Kalfou , the Master of --”
    “Master of Crossroads,” I said. “I’m aware.” I wasn’t sure how, but I decided just to roll with it.
    I turned to face my two macoutes . “ Touye ,” I said, kill , the one command that would allow them to kill another of their kind. Of our kind.
    They ran toward Kathleen.
    “ Rete trankil ,” she said.
    The macoutes stopped.
    “Was there a point to this, Pouchon?” I asked. “There’s two of us and one of her... does that give us something?”
    “I’m here, too,” Gary said.
    “Shut up, Gary,” Kathleen and I said at pretty much the same time.
    “Yeah, there’s a plan,” Pouchon said. “Command them again.”
    “ Touye ,” I said.
    Pouchon launched himself at Kathleen, pushing her to the ground.
    And then he started to kiss her.
    She punched him in the face.
    He elbowed her temple. And then he kissed her again.
    And the two macoutes fell onto them.
    Kathleen couldn’t command them to stop.
    She didn’t even have a chance to scream.
    After a minute or so the macoutes had finished feeding, and Kathleen and Pouchon were a mix of torn clothes, chewed bones and a fleshy goo.
    “I didn’t think she could be killed,” Gary said. “I thought she’d outlive us all.”
    “That’s why you’re nobody’s bokor