Choose Me by Xenia Ruiz Page A

“And I don’t know about you but there’s nothing ‘minor’ about being African American.”
    I smiled my gratitude and returned to the debate, ready to tear my opponent to shreds with statistics and facts. But the woman
     was already leaving the porch. Soon after, the discussion group got smaller and smaller as people grew bored with the controversial
     topic and began to get up and dance, or form more intimate liaisons. It started to rain a little harder and I moved away from
     my spot so I wouldn’t get wet. The music was getting louder and I could feel my headache trying to make a comeback. I decided
     it was time to go. I had had enough stimulation for one night. Just as I headed for the front door, I heard Simone yelling,
     trying to get everyone’s attention.
    “Okay, people, the screening’s about to begin,” she announced, turning off the stereo. I thought about sneaking out but I
     knew Simone would never forgive me. She already believed I didn’t support her career choice, not to mention her promiscuous
     lifestyle. As everyone gathered around the projection screen, Simone’s birthday present from Zephyr, I scanned the crowd for
     Maya. There weren’t enough chairs to go around so most people sat on the floor or stood up. I leaned against the wall nearest
     to the door.
    The film was not bad for a “B” movie, shot in black and white, and reminded me slightly of Spike Lee’s
She’s Gotta Have It.
The emphasis was not so much on the woman’s open sexuality as it was on her determination to be independent from men. I found
     myself slightly embarrassed during the intimate scenes, which weren’t as graphic as Simone had led me to believe, but lent
     a lot to the imagination. At one point, during an intensely heated kissing scene between Simone and her leading man, I had
     to look away and found myself looking straight at Adam. I felt the heat rise in my face as he smiled coyly and I quickly looked
     away.
    My eyes settled on Luciano and Maya sitting on the arm of the sofa in spoon fashion, his arms wrapped possessively around
     her like she belonged to him. He looked up and I held his gaze, hoping he grasped the look of disapproval on my face. Still
     looking at me, he boldly kissed Maya’s neck as if to ask,
What’re you going to do about it?
I glared at him before turning back to the screen. Although I had promised I would stay out of her life, I decided then and
     there I was going to have to tell her what I really thought about Mr. Luciano the next time we were alone.
    Despite the film’s theme, I was pleasantly surprised at Simone’s acting. She was good and had come a long way from the high
     school plays she had acted in. I only wished she would put it to a more appropriate use. After the applause was over everyone
     surrounded the cast and Zephyr, complimenting them. I headed toward Maya to tell her I was ready to go, but by the time I
     stepped over the people sitting on the floor, and squeezed past sweaty bodies, she had disappeared again and so had Luciano.
     I walked up to Zephyr who was talking to Adam.
    “Excuse me. Have you seen my sister?”
    They both shook their heads.
    Adam said, “I haven’t seen Luciano either. What’s up?”
    “I have to go.”
    Somebody poked me in the back. I turned to find Pam, a mutual friend, dressed as Thelma from
Good Times.
“I saw Maya going downstairs the back way a little while ago,” she offered. “With her friend.”
    I started for the back porch again just as Adam was about to say something. I held up a finger and mouthed that I’d be back.
     Down the back porch stairs, I peeked over the railing and there I saw Luciano’s tan suit in the dark, Maya’s arms around his
     back.
    “I’m leaving,” I said, slightly hating her at that moment. Although we rarely fought, when we did, it never lasted very long
     and we never got to the point where we stopped speaking to each other. But this situation with this Luciano person might have