Christmas Gift for Rose (9780310336822) by Zondervan Publishing House Page A

the area, Rose?” Jonathan asked.
    “Not before.”
    “Before?” The way he said it, it was obvious he thought she meant before he left for the war. Jonathan had no idea she meant before three days ago.
    Rose shrugged. “Why are you asking?”
    “The other day, before we were interrupted, you said youwanted to talk to me. You mentioned you’d thought about leaving.”
    “I’ve thought about it, but not seriously.” How could she tell him the truth? “Don’t most people think about it?”
    “Not most people, Rose. Most people are content to walk in the way of their ancestors. To choose the Amish life and believe it’s the only …
right
… way.” The way he dragged out the last few words, it was as if he was asking her a question. Was that what she believed too?
    They neared her house, but instead of slowing the horse continued on. Rose forced a chuckle to ease the tension between them. “Did you forget something?”
    “I thought we’d have some lunch in town … if you don’t mind.” Jonathan lowered his head slightly. She studied the tufts of dark hair that covered the tops of his ears. Her heartbeat jumped into her throat.
    To sit across from him. To look into his eyes. She wondered how long she’d be able to keep her secret. Yet even as she thought of telling him her throat cinched.
    “Vell …” She tried to come up with a good excuse, but there was none. Mem was at a quilting circle, her siblings were at school, and there was nothing—no one—who needed her.
    “If you’d rather not, I understand. “He pointed behind his shoulder. “I can turn around. I understand what people are saying about me—about my choice. I know that I’ve lost the approval of many in our community. I’ve lost your approval.” He sighed heavily. “I’m afraid I’ve lost yer heart too.”
    “There is so much more you don’t understand, Jonathan.It’s not easy to explain how I’m feeling … what I’m thinking. Some days I can’t figure it out myself.”
    The snow-covered fields of Holmes County rose and fell, stretching out on either side of the road. Here or there an oblique lump or mound marred the landscape. Rose knew if she got out and brushed the snow off she’d find familiar tree stumps or piles of fencing. In a way, that’s how her emotions felt—she knew more was beneath, but it took too much effort to brush away the protective layer she’d built around her heart.
    “Will you
try
to tell me, Rose?”
    “I’m sorry, Jonathan. I should have taken more time to listen to you when you returned. I should have read your letters with an open heart, instead of being so worried about what the bishop thought, what others thought.”
    He looked over at her. His eyes widened slightly as she studied his face. “Do you mean that?”
    “Ja,”
she said, realizing she did mean it.
    “I’m ready to listen when you tell me, Rose.” He leaned forward slightly and his lips parted. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her.
    Rose pulled her head back, knowing he wouldn’t want to do that. Not if he knew.
    The disappointment was clear on Jonathan’s face.
    “Do you mind if I drop this lumber off first?”
    “
Ne
, don’t mind. Not at all.”
    The buggy stopped at Hummel’s Grocery. The building was on Main Street, and large glass windows displayed fullshelves. It seemed strange being able to see inside the store. During the war, the windows had been covered with war bond posters. Rose believed Mr. Hummel was patriotic, but she also guessed that the posters had hidden the limited supply of items on the store shelves.
    “Why don’t you head inside and keep warm? I’m going to take this lumber ‘round back. They need it in the back storeroom to build some new shelves.”
    “
Ja
, of course.”
    Inside the glass front door, warm air and the scent of baking bread greeted her. One of the clerks was checking out a customer at the front counter. He turned in her direction.
    “Why, hello there.”