Christmas With Her Ex by Fiona McArthur Page A

shedding a few tears, and they laughed very quietly. Reconnected.
    Connor was trapped. He wanted to take Kelsie more than he wanted to breathe but he feared the exposure.The ripping open of a protective shield he needed to survive.
    He couldn’t do it.
    Already she’d burrowed under his defences more than he would have believed possible. Though he’d been young, he had truly loved this woman. Would have given her everything. The problem was he was whole now and he didn’t trust her not to hurt him again.
    He’d survived once when he’d lost her and he wasn’t so sure he would survive again if she touched his soul in giving herself to him. Making love with Kelsie, the way they were sparking off each other tonight, promised to be no light undertaking.
    He didn’t know if he would ever really trust her again. Surely it would be a hundred times worse if they made love and she got off the train in London and walked away.
    Yes. It would. He could feel his sanity return.
    For a few moments there he’d been ready to burn in hell if he could bury himself in her. But he was damned if he was going to rue the day he met her again.
    Connor pulled the gold straps back up her shoulders and kissed her once more.
    Kelsie sat back and stared at him. ‘Is something wrong?’
    ‘Everything is perfect. Let’s not spoil it.’
    He saw her disappointment. Well, he had dibs on that one from a long time ago, and tonight he was right there with her. But he’d been burnt once by her. Severely, and he didn’t do loss well.
    And he wasn’t going to do something he’d regret.Funny how it had only been that way with Kelsie. Seemed he was better at denying himself than she was, which made him feel slightly better.
    But this was the new Kelsie and again she surprised him.
    Connor had drawn the line. Again. Heck, she’d thought he’d got over that, she grumbled to herself in the throes of frustration! She sat upright from where they’d ended up entangled on the seat, pushed back her hair and straightened her straps properly. For the first time in her life she’d actually been totally swept away. Scary, scary stuff.
    She took a few good breaths and focused. ‘Well, that’s a turn-up for the books. It’s usually me who stops the action. Different, but probably sensible.’ She looked at him with a crooked smile. ‘Thank you. I think.’
    ‘And I think I’d better go.’
    She arched her brows. ‘Before I jump you again?’ He smiled. ‘It is a worry.’
    She wondered at the underlying truth beneath his jokey statement as she watched him leave.

CHAPTER SEVEN
    F IFTEEN MINUTES LATER, ready for her solitary bed, Kelsie was feeling pleased with herself. She’d visited the end of the rocking carriage and marvelled at the flash of railway tracks below the white porcelain bowl with a sort of horrid fascination.
    Wolfgang had been in and made her long seat into a snug little bed with starched white sheets and satin-bound woollen blankets. There was a delightful old-fashioned tin of sweets, of course in a blue-lined crested container, resting on her pillow, and the nightlight had been switched on.
    Outside the window, snow flew in little flurries and the muted bells of the passing railway crossings added a soothing melody to the sound of the tracks clacking below.
    But as she cleaned her teeth at the tiny basin, she stared at her pink cheeks in the gilt-edged mirror and wondered at the star-filled eyes of the woman who stared back.
    She still reeled at the absolute mindlessness Connor could induce when he kissed her. Her cheeks glowed back at her as she thought about her lack of control.Somewhere inside her the unsatisfied woman within grumbled and groaned at an ache that wouldn’t go but still she marvelled that after all these years Connor was the one who could make her legs give way when he kissed her.
    It seemed she wasn’t uninterested in sex after all. Sex was pleasant, nice, occasionally great, but just kissing someone had never