Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 2: A New Adult Romantic Comedy by Adele Huxley, Savan Robbins Page A

cheeks must’ve turned ten shades of red as I grabbed my phone back. “No! This guy I was… he… nevermind. It’s nothing. So, are you planning on branching out into the wide world of flavored lube?” I asked attempting to turn the focus back on her.
    “Nuh-uh, you aren’t changing the subject,” Lourdes said, shaking her head. “What? Is this your first dick pic?”
    “Oh, we haven’t told you! Our dear little Talia, like millions of other twenty-somethings, has joined the online dating world.”
    I shot Anette a look and rolled my eyes. “And regretting every moment of it. Obviously.” With a few taps on my screen, I deleted Phillipe, and his dong, from my life.
    “Aww, you haven’t met anyone?”
    “We aren’t all as naturally gorgeous and charming as you,” I deflected.
    “She’s landed a few creeps, but we’re still trying,” Anette butted in.
    Lourdes’ perfectly sculpted eyebrows shot up. “We?”
    I gave the camera a long-suffering smile and she laughed. We all knew and accepted Anette for her particularly intense brand of love. Lourdes was probably thankful to not be on the receiving end of it for once.
    “It’s good you’re getting out there, though. I’m proud of you.” Her expression pinched in a way that years of friendship could only decipher.
    “What is it?” I asked with a monotone voice. “You aren’t saying something.”
    She huffed and shook her head, tight curls bouncing around her face. “I can’t keep a damn thing from you, woman. Are you sure you want to know?”
    “I do! I do, I do, I do,” Anette called out.
    Lourdes took a moment before continuing. “Kevin moved out here.”
    “He what?” I gasped, unable to stop my reaction.
    “I haven’t seen him,” she said defensively. “Just heard it through a friend of a friend, but it’s true. He’s living out here.” She pressed her lips together, knowing she was delivering bad news.
    “With her,” I said flatly, to which Lourdes nodded. “Figures.” I couldn’t stop the sinking sensation in my gut any more than I could hide my reaction. Both Anette and Lourdes made annoying sounds of pity. I blinked back tears of sadness and anger. “It’s fine. It’s so stupid,” I said, wiping my cheek dry with a knuckle.
    “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I figured with you out on the dating scene…”
    “It’s good. It’s all good,” I sniffed. “Just stings whenever I think about it. But thankfully I’ve had more than enough bad dates to keep my mind off him.”
    Lourdes pressed her lips together in a slight grin. “What kind of bad dates?”
    “You have no idea,” Anette groaned. “There was the guy with real mommy issues, then Mr. Chompy,” she started.
    “Mr. Chompy?”
    “He did this before every kiss,” I replied before thrusting myself toward the camera. I wiggled my eyebrows in an exaggerated act of seduction, made a kissy face, curled my lip, and clacked my teeth together. Enjoying Lourdes’ horrified face, I leaned back and crossed my arms. “He did that every time we made out.”
    “What the hell?”
    “Right?”
    “And then the last guy I went out with was ten kinds of creepy and farted the whole time. It was so bad, I had the bartenders sneak me out the back exit so I could get away.”
    Anette shook her head. “And that brings us to the Mr. Dick Pic.”
    “Holy shit. You should write all this down before you forget,” Lourdes said, wiping a tear from her eye from laughing so hard.
    I nearly told them about the blog but held back for some reason. It was great sharing the horror stories with them and all, but I’d created it to be my own safe little place to vent. This conversation was a perfect example of why I needed to start keeping things to myself a bit more. It was my life after all, not a joint decision-making team.
    “I totally should,” I replied with a secret smile.
     

“Ahhhh, why?” I moaned to myself as I ran around the room in a panic. I grabbed random