Coming Home by M.A. Stacie Page B

asked.
    Closing her eyes, trying to block out all
emotions, she shook her head slowly. "I'd rather not decide
anything until I've spoken to my dad."
    "Then I'll take you to him," he
continued.
    "You'll wait outside?" She opened her eyes
and she mustered the courage to deal with Jack.
    "We'll both wait at the house. Come find us
when you're done talking to Jack," Caleb added, his arms coming
from behind her, his words rumbling into her ear. They were
supporting her the only way they could right now.
    With their love.
     
    *~~*
     
    Sydney's stomach churned when she knocked on
the door to the cottage. She barely heard her father's shout for
her to enter over the roaring of blood in her ears. Her skin
itched, every pore felt inflamed, and no amount of rubbing her
hands over her arms seemed to calm it.
    Silence greeted her when she entered the
room. She noticed Cloud sitting by the fire with Socks curled up
beside him. Her father rested in his chair, looking out of the
window as he took a drag on a cigarette.
    "I thought you gave it up."
    "That I did, but for some damn reason, today,
I needed one."
    "I don't think you should start up again
because of me."
    "And I don't think that's your choice,
Sydney."
    "Dad, I—"
    "Sit down," he interrupted, kicking the base
of a chair so it scrapped along the wood floor. "Smokin' isn't the
topic of conversation, is it?"
    Cloud lifted his head when she walked past
him, sniffing the air. She lowered herself onto the chair, unable
to meet her father's eyes, so she kept hers on the dog instead,
worrying her hands in her lap. She had no idea where to start, her
fear of disappointing him clouded everything.
    "I d-don't know what to say," she stuttered,
nerves causing her body to shake.
    "Well, I sure as shit can't help you with
that one. You created this mess."
    She winced at his aggressive tone and took a
calming breath so she could gather her thoughts. She desperately
wanted him to understand, and at least try to accept how she felt.
"I love them, Dad."
    Jack huffed, but verbalized nothing.
    "I suppose you don't believe me, or
understand it. I don't get it either, but I can tell you with
complete conviction, I have loved those men since I was seventeen
years old."
    "What you mean is you're in lust with Paxton,
and yet you love Caleb, huh?"
    "No, Dad." She exhaled. "I love both of them.
I couldn't marry Caleb because it would have been wrong.
    See, he didn't know how I felt about Pax back
then. Things would have been very different if I'd told him—told
both of them."
    Jack coughed, still not looking at her. She
consoled herself with the fact that he seemed to be listening to
what she had to say. He could have shut her out of his life
immediately.
    "I wish I didn't want them this badly. Life
would have been far easier if I'd just married Caleb and buried my
feelings for Pax."
    "So why didn't you?" he asked harshly.
    "How could I possibly choose one over the
other? My feelings are equal for each of them. If I'd married
Caleb, he would never have been able to really fulfill me. There
would have been a Pax-shaped hole in my heart. Please try to
understand."
    "I am, but this is mighty difficult." His
words were gruff, and his hand quivered when he lifted the
cigarette to his lips. "They know you want to be with them both
then? Long term?"
    "I haven't actually said the words, but yeah,
they know about each other. Obviously."
    Jack raised a brow, holding his hand up to
stop her. "I'm listenin', Ne-Ne, but there are certain things I
don't ever want to discuss or even have to imagine."
    Sydney rolled her eyes. "I wasn't about to
disclose every detail. I was merely confirming they are both…aware
of the situation because the relationship is between the three of
us."
    Jack shuddered visibly, inhaling. "This is
what kept you away?"
    "Maybe I should start at the beginning?"
    Jack nodded, taking another deep drag on his
cigarette. Oddly enough the smell of tobacco soothed her. It
reminded her of being