Confessions of a Serial Dater by Michelle Cunnah Page B

tune, but it’s so important to Jess that we try to like him. Actually, I’ve always thought that Philip had a soft spot for Jess…
    “You were loud. And unimaginably unmel—” Carmen begins, and I swiftly kick her leg under the table before she hurts Jess’s feelings, because she’s had a bit too much to drink and would not forgive me if I didn’t stop her. “Unmissable,” she says, glaring at me.
    “Remarkable,” is Charlie’s response.
    “Interesting, um, arrangements.” Flora pins a diplomatic smile to her face.
    “See? I told you how amazing they are, didn’t I?” Jess leaps up like a boisterous kitten and throws her arms around Aster’s scrawny neck, and we all grab our drinks again as the table rocks.
    “Watch out, babe,” Aster tells her, removing her arms as he glances back to his fan club at the bar. “I got a persona to maintain. I can’t be having me girlfriend attached to me like a leech the whole bleedin’ time. And you nearly sent them drinks flyin’.”
    “Oh, sorry, sorry,” Jess says, her smile faltering just a bit. And I want to smack Aster for being so awful to her. I nervously look around at my friends and know that they want to hit Aster, too. The uncomfortable hostility is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
    “She’s not clumsy,” Carmen, unsurprisingly, pipes up, and I give her a warning frown, but she blanks me. But she does smile, and sweetly adds, “Neither is she an avaricious, irascible corsair.”
    I hold my breath as Aster absorbs Carmen’s words. Everyone else around the table is holding their breath, too, except for Jess, who instead resembles a small, hurt animal.
    “Right you are.” Aster gives Carmen a puzzled smile. I don’t think Aster understood that Carmen just called him agreedy, bad-tempered fortune hunter. “Er, can I have a quick word,” Aster says to Jess, tilting his head toward the bar. “In private, like.”
    “Um, yes. Yes. Excuse me a minute,” Jess says a bit too brightly, her face flushing as she reaches under the table for her bag and follows Aster across the room.
    “Carmen, darling, I know you mean well, but really. Did you see poor Jess’s face?” Flora says as soon as Jess is out of earshot.
    “She is right, though,” Charlie tells the table at large. “How else could he afford to buy that new guitar?”
    “A bit quieter, old chap,” Philip says to him. “You don’t want Jess to hear you. She’d be very upset if she knew we thought her boyfriend was using her for money.”
    “He is using her for money,” Carmen says, taking another swig of her beer. “Just watch. He’s an obnoxious prick with no personality. Sorry, Phil.”
    “No worries about the language,” Philip tells her. “I’ve heard it all before, you know.”
    And sure enough, Jess is reaching into her bag for her wallet. She pulls out some notes and hands them to him.
    “But what are we going to do about it? He can’t fucking well keep getting away with it.” Carmen’s face is getting redder by the moment as she gets into her stride. “Anyone with a brain cell can see he’s using her.”
    “Maybe we’ve got the wrong end of the stick,” Flora reasons with her, but her heart’s not in it. “It’s entirely possible that Aster intends to pay her back.” She doesn’t really believe that, but she always tries to be so evenhanded in her judgement. “It’s obvious that she completely dotes on him. I don’t think she’d thank us for mentioning the money thing.”
    “Yes, she does rather seem fixed on him,” Philip smiles, but his eyes are unhappy. “We need to be here for her, but we shouldn’t, you know, alienate her by maligning her boyfriend.She might not feel comfortable coming to us for sympathy later if she sees it for herself and breaks up with him.”
    Philip does have a good point.
    “He does have a point,” Charlie says. “I mean, Carmen, darling, if we all told you that Paul was a loser, which of course he’s not