Courtin' Jayd by L. Divine Page B

logic is still way off.
    â€œNext? Don’t you mean first?” I say, reminding him that I’ve already been through hell and back with him over Sandy’s crazy ass. “You’re treating me like I’m sitting on the sidelines watching the show, but I’m not. I’m right in the middle of your tired-ass game and I’m sick of playing with you.”
    â€œJayd, wait,” Rah says, pulling me back, but I’m done talking for now. “It’s not like that. You know you mean everything to me. Can we just talk about this, please?”
    â€œEverything? If I mean so much then why did I have to find out what’s going on in your life from Nigel?” Silencing him for the time being, I walk toward the backhouse ready to clear my head and help Mama clear hers. Rah knows better than to come back here without my or Mama’s permission. Unless invited by one of the Williams women, the spirit room is no-man’s-land and they all know it.
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    When I finally reach the backhouse, Lexi’s in her usual spot resting across the threshold, effortlessly ushering me into Mama’s therapeutic fortress. The entire space isn’t much bigger than our living room but is packed with a lot more stuff. All of Mama’s spirit tools are neatly organized, which makes it cozy and warm in here. The same scent of night-blooming jasmine and honeysuckle that’s ever present in Netta’s shop lingers in this small room as well. The warm air and sweet smells instantly calm my nerves, causing me to momentarily forget about Rah and my hungry stomach. All I want to do is be in here and help Mama work. As soon as Mama looks at me, I remember questioning her in front of the boys and feel instantly ashamed.
    â€œYou can eat first if you need to,” Mama says from her station at the sink. She runs the cold water across her hands and stares at me for a few moments before looking away. She’s sorry too and I feel her pain. Her sons have hurt her yet again and her one female ally in a house full of men would rather hang with the boys instead of doing the women’s work required to heal the household.
    â€œNo thank you. I’m good,” I say, closing the screen door behind me. I can hear the garage door shut and then the back gate. Rah has left for the evening, leaving me to my work with Mama. She’s already lit the candles, giving a golden hue to the already yellow walls. My normal spot at the table is already taken by Mama’s many tools. This is my safety zone from the crazy world outside.
    Before I can get in the room good, my phone vibrates. When I flip it open, Rah’s name appears on the screen. Now what?
    â€œPeace, Jayd. We’re not done talking. See you tomorrow after school. I love you, girl.”
    Why do I keep letting him back in after he hurts me? Maybe it’s because I know it’s not intentional, but that’s still no excuse. Rah should know better by now than to leave me hanging. And if he really loves me then he should respect my feelings, not just do what he thinks is right. I fold up the phone and slip it into my purse, ready to give Mama my un divided attention.
    â€œWhy do we deal with men?” I ask Mama as she dries her hands on a yellow kitchen towel before passing me fresh white clothes to put on. I’m not sure exactly what we’re working on today, but from the looks of the ingredients spread across the kitchen table, it must be heavy.
    â€œThe better question is why do we allow them to deal with us?” Mama says as she chops up several bunches of fresh spinach from the garden. She also has a bowl of boiled eggs, cinnamon sticks, a grater and other dishes, scallops, fresh shrimp and fish on ice, five jars of honey, and a large machete with a big bottle of palm oil next to it.
    â€œI feel you, Mama,” I say, putting my backpack and purse on the shelf closest to the door.
    â€œYou see how your uncles act and