Cut Me Free by J. R. Johansson Page B

this means to me. “I’ll be right back with her things.”
    As I turn toward the door, there’s a light tug on my hand. Sanda is standing behind me, biting her lip. She wraps her fingers around mine and I squat down to her level.
    â€œWhat is it?”
    â€œYou will come back?” She’s squeezing my hand so hard it almost hurts, and she stares at the carpet between us like it might split into a mighty chasm and separate us at any moment. “You promise?”
    â€œI promise.” I wrap her in my arms and give her a quick hug like I used to give Sam, then pull away and lean my forehead against hers. “I’m not leaving you.”

 
    9
    Mary stands at the host station with a happy grin when I walk in, and I wonder why Cam ever believed I’d be good at this job.
    â€œAre you waiting for someone or would you like a table for one?”
    â€œNeither. I’m here for training.”
    Her grin widens and she laughs. “Oh, you’re the new me!”
    Her unending exuberance leaves me wanting to escape—either that or find her brightness and volume options and turn them down a few notches. “Uh, I suppose so. Where can I find Lily?”
    She points toward the back of the restaurant. “Take the left hall past the men’s room.”
    The narrow hallway has a large IF YOU DON’T WORK HERE, YOU’RE PROBABLY LOST—EMPLOYEES ONLY sign across the top. I check around to make sure no one is watching me before I walk under it. It’s hard to think of myself as qualified to be called an “employee.”
    Lily is scribbling furiously on a stack of papers at a desk in a room on the right. I’m amazed at how fast her hand flies through the motions. I must go slow and push hard just to get the words to be readable. Of course, I haven’t been writing that long.
    â€œHello, Charlotte.” Her expression is guarded when she stands up.
    â€œHi.” I have a sudden urge to apologize for the way I’d been thrust upon her, but my gut tells me that apologies won’t get me anywhere with Lily. “So, where do I start?”
    She gathers the stack of papers from the desk and walks toward a large black safe on one side of the room. “Tell me what you’ve done before.”
    I shrink in on myself a little. I’d assumed Cam would tell her I had no experience. “Nothing, really.”
    She doesn’t look surprised, and I realize he did tell her. She’s toying with me, and doing it well.
    When I instinctively reach in my pocket I’m shocked to find it empty. I’d forgotten my bolt? I never forget it. But I’d been so focused on making sure Sanda had everything she needed. Can I make it through an entire night without it? My hands sweat and I force my feet to stay in place long enough to let me think. No running, not yet.
    â€œIf you don’t want me here, you can just tell me.” My voice comes out smaller than I expect so I pull my shoulders back and stand straighter.
    I’d been worried about leaving Sanda anyway. Maybe Lily will send me away. I could go home to Sanda and still wouldn’t get on Cam’s bad side. It’s the best-case scenario, really.
    â€œI didn’t say that.” Lily pauses, her fingers hovering over the keypad on the safe. She looks up at me. I study my hands as she enters the code, but when I hear the door creak open I can’t resist taking a peek. The safe contains some metal drawers with cash in them, but not much. A stack of paper sits on the top shelf and on the bottom I see the black metal butt of a gun. My heart skips a beat and I’m hot and cold at the same time. I really don’t like guns. I know exactly how it feels when all you can see is the barrel pointed at you and everything else falls away.
    Of course, even the Father’s gun couldn’t stop me after they killed Sam.
    Shaking off the sudden rush of fear, I watch as Lily closes