Dark Time by Phaedra M. Weldon Page B

was Ethereal…and because he'd done a whole bunch of mean things to me. But now…now he just confused the hell out of me. I couldn't remember when it was I talked to him.  
    "Zoë? What's wrong?"  
    "I don't know. I'm just forgetting things."  
    "Because you've been trying to forget, haven't you? That's why you gave up and let Inanna have her way."  
    " Her way?" I laughed. "What's that? I don't know what her way is. I just know…" My heart raced in my chest. For the first time in an astral state, I could feel my heart as it pounded. I could feel the air from the room's air conditioner as it touched my face and moved my hair from my cheek. I was…corporeal… outside of my body.  
    He was suddenly beside me, his arms around me. And he was warm.  
    Oh my God…he was warm ! And he smelled right as well as wrong. He was familiar to me. The touch of an old lover, forever a part of me. I buried my face into his chest as his arms enfolded me. My Vin Diesel.  
    My Trench Coat.  
    "What happened, Zoë. Tell me what happened. Why did you just leave like that? Don't you know what you've put your mother through?"  
    His voice vibrated in his chest against my cheek and I sobbed. Oh damn did I sob. And I knew if I didn't say something fast, the last few days, weeks, or how ever long I'd abandoned life would come crashing down into one hell of an ugly cry. "He…he told me hated me, TC. He told me I was a monster and that he couldn't deal with a monster. That…he never wanted to see me again."  
    TC didn't say anything. He didn't have too. I could feel him tense against me. "Then he's best forgotten. For now. I need you to help me find Joe."  
    "I'm alone…" I was blubbering against him. Whatever planar bullshit had worked to repel me before was gone and I was doing my full on pity party into his nice expensive suit.  
    "No you're not alone. You will always have me. You have Nona. And you will have Joe—but we need to find him."  
    I pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes. They were white once…like the eyes of the dead. But now they were almost human looking. "Wh-wha about…J-J-Jason?" Man I hated those kinds of cries that took my breath away.  
    The look in his eyes frightened me and I knew in that instance—it wasn't just Joe's disappearance that had kept him hammering on Inanna and I.  
    There was something worse.  
    Much worse.  

2

    Joe's apartment not only looked abandoned, it felt abandoned. It was empty. Devoid of him. Not even his scent lingered.  
    "He disappeared not long after you did." TC stepped inside and shut the door behind me. "He looked for you. Didn't want to believe that you'd…somehow dug out your own heart and given it to some yahoo with a gun."  
    I heard him, but I wasn't really listening. It felt odd to be back in my own skin. Inanna was quiet, a part of the background noise once again. She didn't like it. Her irritation clung to my skin like a wool sweater in 100º humidity. I was thinner—if that was even possible. I'm a tall girl, with legs up to my ass…as Daniel used to say.  
    Sometimes when I thought of him, something stirred deep inside, as if waking for just a second, and then slipping back into a deep slumber. He was there…but he wasn't there . He wasn't in front of me, showing up when I least expected him with that goofy grin and shaggy hair.  
    And his glasses.  
    I missed his blue eyes and his glasses.  
    Joe's apartment was just below my own. I'd moved into the same building after leaving mom's and losing my condo. The same layout was convenient, and I'd been in his place enough times that I knew where things were. A thin layer of dust covered the kitchen counter, the high-backed stools, even the rotting fruit in the green bowl I'd given him as a present.  
    The trash had disintegrated beyond smell and into a pile of unidentifiable organic goo. As had most of what remained of the leftovers in his refrigerator, though I could identify what had once