Death by Misadventure: 210 Dumb Ways to Die by Dale Dreher Page B

to climb
a bridge's 7 foot fence and drop another 15 feet into the fast
moving Cuyahoga River. The fleeing felon's body was found the next
day. In memory of Smith, friends got tattoos of a skull with a crew
cut and ponytail bearing the inscription "RIP 9 3 93".
(Smith gained his nickname, Little Keebler, after using a cookie
sheet during a play fight with friends.) Akron Beacon Journal, September 13, 1993
    15. Chemistry
Lesson . Two
San Francisco Area thieves never knew what killed them. They stole
a tank of what they believed was laughing gas (nitrous oxide). When
they opened the cylinder in their car to get a quick high, they
fell asleep and died a few moments later. Had the crooks correctly
read the label of the tank they would have discovered that it
contained pure nitrogen. Since nitrogen is a major component in the
air we breathe, pure nitrogen does not have a noticeable taste or
smell; it is, however, heavier than air. So when released in a
confined space, pure nitrogen displaces everything else. The men
suffocated within in a few painless moments because of lack of
oxygen. National Review, October 11,
1995
    16. Escape from Club
Pen. Stephen Peters was doing pretty
easy time as an inmate at the William Head prison near Victoria,
British Columbia. The medium-security prison is surrounded on three
sides by the Pacific Ocean and boasts a nine-hole golf course. The
convicted thief and sex offender was serving the fifth year of a
15-year sentence when he attempted to swim to freedom. Peters and
his prosthetic left leg, however, were no match for the cold waters
of the Pacific Northwest. The convict’s body washed back onto the
prison’s shore 2 days later. Toronto
Globe and Mail, May 5, 1997
    17. Birthday
Bash. Teacher and part-time bartender,
James Hartwig, was celebrating his 41 st birthday when he got into an
argument with a police officer. The officer was supervising the
towing of Hartwig’s illegally parked car. Because Hartwig appeared
to be “extremely drunk”, the officer refused to return the car to
him and encouraged Hartwig to call someone for a ride. While
Hartwig was explaining that he did not want to wake his wife, the
officer was called away to a more urgent matter. Hartwig continued
his argument with the tow truck driver, chasing the truck and
banging on the passenger window. Hartwig somehow slipped and fell
under the 6,000-pound vehicle, which crushed his head and chest.
Hartwig was described as a “special” teacher who “related
beautifully” with his students. Miami
Herald, November 29, 1988
    18. Hit, Run and
Die . Donald
Lundquist, 65, walked away from a car accident, leaving behind his
broken glasses. Lundquist was missing for more than 3 weeks before
his body was discovered in a wooded area some 2 miles from the
accident scene. The exact cause of death was not obvious but there
were no signs of foul play. Saint Paul
Pioneer Press, May 3, 1988
    19. Double-Barreled
Kickback. Coroners ruled Joe Norman’s
shotgun death an accident despite the fact that the former power
company executive was facing charges of accepting kickbacks from
coal suppliers. Norman, 55, had spent the morning hunting quail and
died cleaning his loaded shotgun. Authorities were convinced that
the witness testimony and other evidence gathered at the site were
consistent with an accident and not suicide or murder. The coroner
did concede, however, “The only people who would know that are God
Almighty and Joe.” The State (Columbia
S.C.), March 11, 1992
    20. Racing
Minnesota . A
16-year-old robbery suspect ended a high-speed pursuit through
Wisconsin and Minnesota by accidentally shooting himself in the
head. The youth, who was suspected of robbing a gas station, led
state troopers on a chase that reached speeds of over 100 mph. At
the end of the chase one officer brought his cruiser alongside the
suspect’s vehicle. The suspect’s sawed off shotgun went off
accidentally as he was pulling it from a shoulder holster.