Deep in the Heart of Me by Diane Munier Page B

say I'm brave?" I ask.
    "You stood up to the teachers and to those boys."
    "Your dad is sheriff."
    "But he has a gun. You just have…you," she says.
    I also have my knife. And I have my fists and my wits. I am brave. It's my job.
    "You stood to Ned," I say.
    She just shakes her head.
    I don't like her being hard against herself.
    She looks at me then. "It's because of you, Antonio. You make me brave."
    Her eyes are deep and something…pretty but…there's gold or something bright. I don't know what I'm feeling. But it gets in me then. Something. For Sobe.
    She decides we must get back to work, and I must check on the others. Tillo has made much progress for all he was late. We've got nothing good to say to one another. Utz works with him instead of where I said to work and I'm ready to be mad, but Utz has given a good start to the side he'd been on before Tillo arrived. And others are arriving to help, members of the school board and some of their sons. Soon we all have extra hands, and Sobe and me, are able to turn the rest of our side to new helpers while we move to aid Joseph. It's supper time when we finish.
    I wash our brushes in turpentine and wrap them in cloth. Joseph is taking them home, even Sobe's. She insists she doesn't want the smelly thing. She'd found it in the basement of her house.
    "I'll ride you on Tibby," I tell Sobe. Since she's a townie, she lives close. I've been in her house many times when Daniel lived there.
    I pull to the rail for tying horses and buggies, and she scrambles there, and I give her my hand, and she gets on behind me. There is no saddle, just a blanket. Tibby works hard, and I didn't want her to stand in saddle, all day. But her back is wide, and she's gentle.
    Sobe is behind me, but she is close. I move Tibby from the rail, and I feel Sobe's hands clutch at my sides.
    "She's tall," Sobe says. She scoots closer. I am dizzy for a moment. I have ridden like this almost soon as I could walk, but it is different with Sobe.
    I'm stealing time from chores, but I've no regrets. People might see us and think we're sweethearts, but I can't fix that.
    Dad will be setting the cans about now. Ebbie is there and Shaun. I'm guilty, but the damn farm pulls at me my whole life. It wants every part of me.
    Sobe takes her hand away and brushes at my shoulder. "A grasshopper," she says.
    I wait for her hand to return to me, and it does.

Chapter 20
     
    We are too soon at Sobe's house. I must get home, but I don't want it to be over with her.
    "How do I get off?" she asks meaning how does she get off this tall horse.
    "I will hold your hands," I say turning around, "and slide you down."
    I do that. She is light, but I am sore, but I know how to hold weight even when I hurt, and I'd never let her fall, not in a million years.
    I slowly lower her to her feet, and she lets go of my hands. "Thank you," she says looking up at me. "I would offer you supper, but I'm a terrible cook."
    "You should come to the farm. Elsie will show you," I offer.
    "She says that. She invited me today…but…." She holds up her small hands and spreads her fingers.
    It makes me smile. Her hands are ruined with paint.
    "Turpentine," I say.
    She breathes in. "Tonio…I will see you tomorrow at church."
    "You're Protestant?"
    "Yes," she says.
    "You will then," I say.
    "I have invited Elsie to sit with Dad and me. She's asking your mother today." Then she snatches the hat from her head.
    "Oh, and this."
    I stay on Tibby to make myself go home. I reach for the hat, and she keeps hold, so both of us hold it now.
    "Tonio…I meant what I said. You make me brave."
    I pull the hat free so I can straighten. I put it on my head now.
    "It looks better on you," she says with a big smile.
    "Are you scared of something?" I ask.
    She grows serious.
    "The bogeyman?" I say, but she does not smile. Matter of fact I see tears.
    "Tonio…I didn't have lots of beaus. I…don't know why I said it. I…wanted you to think…I wanted you to think I