she said. âSort of. Just when this other genie - Pennsylvania something?â
âPhiladelphia Machine and Tool. Actually there is a genie called Pennsylvania Farmersâ Bank III - Penny Three - but heâs no bother to anyone.â
âThis Philadelphia person,â Jane continued coldly, âis going to wipe out the human race, you suddenly pop up and stop him doing it. Thatâs why all this is happening. And Iâm . . .â
She stopped. She felt cold. In her anxiety, she broke the heel off her shoe.
âLook.â Kiss frowned, summoning up soft, heavenly music in the far distance. âNice try, but it doesnât quite work like that. Things arenât all neatly ordained and settled the way you seem to think - unless, of course, you posit the existence of a . . .â
âBut it makes sense,â Jane protested. âSomeone wants the world destroyed. I want it saved.â
Kiss clapped his hands. âAh,â he said, ânow we seem to be getting somewhere. That sounded remarkably like a Wish to me.â
âDid it?â
Kiss nodded. âI reckon so. You Wish the world to be saved. I take it,â he added, âthat you do?â
âI suppose so.â
âGive me strength!â Kiss took a deep breath. âEither you do or you donât, itâs not exactly a grey area. Toss a coin if you think itâll help you decide.â
Jane shook her head. âOf course I want the world saved,â she said. âOr at least, I suppose I do. The last thing I can remember before all this was wishing it would all go away.â
âThatâs just typical sloppy mortal thinking,â Kiss replied crossly. âThis is what comes of giving your lot free will without making you send in the ten coupons from the special offer box lids first. You mortals,â Kiss went on, with a slight nuance of self-righteousness in his voice, âthink that just because you come to an end, the world comes to an end too. Well, Iâm an immortal and Iâm here to tell you it doesnât. If you ask me, they should print Please Leave The World As You Would Wish To Find It in big letters on the inside of wombs and coffins, and then thereâd be no excuse for all this messing about. Iâm sorry,â he said, calming down, âbut there are some things I feel strongly about. Well, stronglyish, anyway.â
âSorry,â Jane said meekly. âIâm not really used to all this yet.â
âThatâs all right,â the genie replied, turning the music up a very little. âLook, take it from me, you want the world saved.â
âRight.â
âSave the world,â Kiss continued, âand you get merit in Heaven.â
âIf we posit its existence, of course.â
Kiss sighed. âEveryoneâs a comedian,â he grumbled. âLook -â
âSave ten worlds and you get a free alarm clock radio -â
âThat,â snapped the genie, âwill do. Itâs quite simple, as far as Iâm concerned. The human race is the measure of everything thatâs prosaic and mundane. If there werenât any humans, thereâd be no point being a genie, because there wouldnât be anyone to be bigger and stronger and cleverer than. So, as a favour to me, I suggest you Wish the human race saved. OK?â
Jane squinted into the middle distance, trying to see what the world would look like if she wasnât there. She couldnât.
âPut like that,â she said, âhow can I refuse? But hang on,â she added. âI thought you said all the nasty plant seeds had got burned up. Doesnât that mean . . .?â
Kiss grinned unpleasantly. âIt means,â he said, âthat my old mate Philly Nine has failed. If heâd succeeded, the human race would have been annihilated. Since heâs failed, with all the loss of face that entails . . .â The genie laughed
John B. Garvey, Mary Lou Widmer