Double Whammy by Carl Hiaasen Page A

Boca.”
    â€œI hope she was kind,” Decker said. Diane was her name. A very nice lady. Hadn’t seemed like the magpie type, but here you had it. He’d kept a phone number, except now she was married to a large Puerto Rican police captain. Her number was filed under S, for suicide.
    Lanie Gault kicked her sandals off and sat cross-legged on the bedspread. She wore a fruity-colored sleeveless top and white shorts. Her arms and legs, even the tops of her feet, were a golden tan. So were her neck and chest, the part Decker could see. He wondered about the rest, wondered if it was worth a try. Bad timing, he decided.
    â€œCan we turn that shit down, please?” Lanie said. On the television a young couple from Napa had just won an Oldsmobile Cutlass, and the audience was going nuts.
    Decker twisted down the volume.
    She said, “Look, I’m sorry about this morning. I’d had a couple martinis to get me going.”
    â€œDon’t blame you,” Decker said.
    â€œI must have sounded like a coldhearted whore, which I’m not.”
    Decker went along with it. “It was a tough funeral,” he said, “especially with the wife there.”
    â€œYou said it.”
    â€œBefore you tell me about Bobby,” Decker said, “I’d like to know how you knew about me. About why I was here.” He guessed it was her brother but he wanted to make sure.
    â€œDennis called me,” Lanie said.
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause he knows I’ve got a personal interest. Or maybe he’s just feeling guilty about Bobby and wants me to know he’s not giving up on it.”
    Or maybe he wants you to try me out, Decker thought.
    Lanie said, “I met Bobby Clinch at a bass tournament in Dallas two summers ago. I was doing outdoor layouts for the Neiman-Marcus catalog—beach togs, picnic wear, stuff like that. Dennis happened to be in town for this big tournament, so I drove out to the reservoir one afternoon, just to say hi. Must have been sixty boats, a hundred guys, and they all looked exactly the same. They dressed alike, walked alike, talked alike, chewed tobacco alike. All dragging fish to be weighed. Afterward they gathered around this tall chalkboard to see who was ahead in the points. Christ, I thought I’d died and gone to redneck hell.”
    â€œThen Bobby came along.”
    â€œRight,” Lanie said. “He said hello, introduced himself. It sounds corny, but I could tell he was different from the others.”
    â€œCorny” was not the word for how it sounded. Decker listened politely anyway. He figured there was a love scene coming.
    Lanie said, “That night, while the rest of the guys were playing poker and getting bombed, he took me out on the reservoir in his boat, just the two of us. I’ll never forget, it was a crescent moon, not a cloud anywhere.” She laughed gently and her eyes dropped. “We wound up making it out on the water. In the bow of Bobby’s boat was this fancy pedestal seat that spun around . . . and that’s what we did. Lucky we didn’t capsize.”
    This girl, Decker thought, has a wondrous imagination.
    â€œBobby wasn’t one of these full-time tournament freaks,” Lanie said. “He had a good job laying cable for the phone company. He fished four, maybe five pro events a year, so he wasn’t a serious threat to anybody. He had no enemies, Decker. All the guys liked Bobby.”
    â€œSo what made him different?” Decker asked.
    â€œHe enjoyed himself more,” Lanie said. “He seemed so happy just to be out there . . . and those were the best nights for us, after he’d spent a day on the lake. Even if he hadn’t caught a thing, he’d be happy. Laughing, oh brother, he’d laugh at the whole damn ritual. Bobby loved fishing, that’s for sure, but at least he saw how crazy it looked from the outside. And that’s more than I can say for my