Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance) by Amy Durham Page A

difference. I knew my dad cheated. Knowing who he cheated with shouldn’t make it any worse.”
    “But it does.”
    And there was the precise reason I’d bonded so intensely with Adrian. He just got it. Somehow, some way, he understood.
    “Yeah.”
    “Have you thought about…” he started to say. “Never mind.”
    I sat up straighter, turning to look at him, his lids lowered over baby blues full of genuine sweetness.
    “What?”
    “I don’t want to overstep.” He reached up, running his hand through a blond lock of my hair.
    “You’re allowed to overstep.”
    He let out a heavy breath, laying his hand gently against my cheek. “Have you thought about forgiving your dad?”
    My eyes dropped to the blanket, the shame I felt preventing me from looking him in the eye.
    Thought about it? I’d dreamed about it. And in every scenario I’d played in my mind, the result was always the same. It was too little, too late, and my hatred and contempt was the last thing he felt from me before he died.
    I had no one to blame for that but myself.
    And this latest shocker – that it was Courtney’s mom he’d gotten busy with – had just dropped me right back in the middle of all that contempt.
    “I don’t know if I can,” I said, more ashamed than I’d ever been in my life.
    It was the truth, and I hated myself for it.
    “You’ve got every right to feel that way.” He lifted my face with a soft finger beneath my chin. “What he did was wrong on so many levels. But forgiveness isn’t something you do only for the other person. It’s something you do for yourself, so that you can go on with your life.”
    He was right. I knew he was right, and yet…
    “I know that up here.” I tapped my index finger against my temple. “It’s all very logical. But in here,” I said, placing my hand over my heart, “all I feel is this awful betrayal.”
    “And there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. What happened wasn’t fair. Courtney humiliating you the way she did wasn’t fair. Coming to terms with what happened to your family isn’t something you’re going to do on anyone else’s timetable. Situations like this don’t come with a manual. You’ll deal with it in your own time.”
    His words were exactly what I needed to hear, but his pleading eyes were telling a different story.
    “Why do I hear a but at the end of that statement?”
    He reached for both of my hands, encased them with his own, and held them between us. “I want you to be able to have the life that you deserve. And the way you feel right now is hindering that.”
    Not exactly breaking news, I thought.
    “And I’m not saying it’s your fault, because it isn’t. But until you can forgive, the emotional fallout from this tragedy is going to get in the way of everything. College. Your future plans. Your relationship with your mom. Your friendships.” He picked up our joined hands and kissed my fingertips, once, twice, three times. “ This .” His eyes locked on mine. “You and me.”
    Fear shot through me, hot and sharp, lancing nerves that were already raw and exposed. Was he saying he couldn’t handle being with such a basket case? Not that I’d fault him for that, but the idea of losing him filled me with panic.
    “I don’t blame you if you don’t want to stick around.” My voice quivered, threatening to give away the dread inside me.
    “I’m not trying to rush or push you, or tell you just to get over it. I know it’s not that simple,” he said, squeezing my hands. “And I don’t want to go anywhere.”
    I stared back down at the blanket.
    “Look at me Zoe.”
    When I looked up at him, he leaned close, until we were practically nose-to-nose. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay here with you. But…” He stopped, took a deep breath as if he was trying to find the right words. “Sometimes things happen and we don’t get what we want. Especially at our age. Sometimes things are out of our