Eating Things on Sticks by Anne Fine Page B

out of the other is an entirely normal and quite common result of years of mild subsidence. Nothing to worry about at all. Just hop in the car, and we’ll be off to the fair.’
    He never should have mentioned ‘subsidence’.
    â€˜Hang on a minute,’ Morning Glory said. ‘I’m sure I saw that word in Aunty Audrey’s insurance policy. Perhaps there’ll be something in there about streams running through your house as well.’
    â€˜Bound to be,’ Uncle Tristram tried to assure her. He was getting impatient. ‘Streams, rivers, brooks, burns, geysers, hot springs, mountain torrents – all bound to be adequately covered.’
    â€˜I think I’ll just check.’ Already she was taking off her diamanté slippers. He tried to grab her, but in a moment she was out of the car and picking her way back barefoot through the mud towards the house.
    â€˜We’re going to be so late ,’ wailed Uncle Tristram.
    â€˜Look on the bright side. We’ll be even hungrier.’
    He cheered up. ‘I could murder a chipolata on a stick.’
    I took the chance of Morning Glory being gone to climb in the front seat. I half expected Uncle Tristram to order me back, but I suppose he thought that since she wasn’t his girlfriend any more, he might as well not bother.
    â€˜Where is she?’ Uncle Tristram kept grumbling, while I just thought about pork pies.
    Finally she came back looking a bit dishevelled and clutching the envelope she had gone to fetch. ‘Sorry! The stream’s quite deep now. I had to take off all my clothes before I waded through.’
    â€˜You should have called!’ insisted Uncle Tristram. ‘I would have come to help you in a flash .’
    We took off down the track. Morning Glory’s face became more and more anxious as she read through the sections of the policy.
    â€˜Problem?’ I asked her.
    She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I can’t work it out at all.’ She ran her finger down the page. ‘I mean, it seems the house is fully covered for earthquake or fire, or even terrorist outrage.’
    â€˜If you want fire, go for young Harry here,’ urged Uncle Tristram. ‘He is our family expert.’
    Morning Glory ignored him. ‘And you can have flood, or major or minor subsidence. You can have vandalism. It seems you can even have termites!’ Her finger was still moving down the page. ‘According to this, you can have gas explosions. And aircraft falling out of the sky (military or commercial).’ She laid the policy down in her lap. ‘But there is nothing – nothing at all – about streams running through your house.’
    â€˜Well, never mind,’ said Uncle Tristram.
    â€˜We should go back,’ insisted Morning Glory. ‘If I’m not even insured , I really ought to try to barricade the door.’
    â€˜If you can barely even wade through the stream,’ said Uncle Tristram, ‘you won’t be able to shut the door on it.’ He went all cunning. ‘Why don’t we just press on? Then Officer Watkins won’t get cross with you all over again for standing him up at a grand island social occasion, and you can ask his advice.’
    â€˜There’s no point in getting his advice,’ said Morning Glory, ‘if I’m so far away from home that I can’t take it.’
    â€˜Why can’t he drive you back?’
    â€˜He doesn’t have the squad car.’ Morning Glory pouted. ‘Not on a Saturday. There’s only one police car on the island, and Delia gets it on Saturday even if she’s not fetching the chips.’
    â€˜Why don’t I lend him this one?’
    â€˜Would you?’ She turned to Uncle Tristram, radiant. ‘You wouldn’t mind?’
    â€˜Why should I?’ Uncle Tristram asked. ‘I shall be busy eating things on sticks.’
    GAME PLAN
    On the drive over the island,