Emily's Reasons Why Not by Carrie Gerlach Page B

and never told him that I thought I was falling in love with him. Then I thanked him for saving my life and we had sex.”
    “Of course you did,” Dr. D. slowly utters.
    “I was in shock, for God’s sake!”
    “What did he do?” Dr. D. ponders aloud.
    “What do you mean, what did he do? Like, did we have foreplay and all of that? Or did we just go right for it?”
    “No, after you said you loved him, what did he do?” he pushes.
    “Why?”
    “Let’s pause for a recap, shall we? You can tuck it in your mental files for next time. You had all the information youneeded to leave this guy already. Think of these as your dating Cliff’s Notes. He’s on the rebound, hard. Plus, remember what his ex had to say about him? These are clues, as she obviously knows him. Then he has sex with you at your most vulnerable and weakest emotional point. Afraid of death is about as vulnerable as you can feel. Yet instead of holding you, finding your mom, or better yet, talking you through this, your new boyfriend decides it is time for you to consummate your vacation relationship.”
    I look at him like … what’s your stinkin’ point?
    “Emily, let me ask you a simple question. If you’re at home in L.A. and a guy you’ve had one, count with me, one date with says he’s falling in love with you, what do you do?”
    It dawns on me. “I’d run.”
    I’d run scared and fast from the emotional cripple who could fall in love after twenty-four hours. “Oh shit, I’m that girl. Aren’t I?”
    “The question is, if Craig didn’t run, what type of man did that make him?”
    Reason #4: Beware of the love bug on vacation .
    “Got it,” I say before diving back into therapy.
    Holding hands with my new boyfriend-to-be at the airport, I can barely say good-bye. Kiss, hug, kiss, kiss …
    His tan forearms, white teeth, and perfect hair. He saved me. My Prince Charming saved me.
    “I’ll see you in exactly one month,” he says, lifting my chin.
    “I’ll call you tonight. Okay?” I say, sadness choking my throat shut.
    Here is the guy I have finally waited to find. Strong, handsome, funny, single, successful, and I am leaving to go back to L.A. Why? Every night in L.A. is a damn costume party
    Day one without Craig: Sad, lonely. Two hours this morning spent talking long distance to Craig, still in St. Croix. One hour before bed. Then, fifteen minutes more, I had to call back.
    Day two: Sad, lonely. Not going out with Grace and Reilly as I am waiting for Craig to get home to Montana so I can call him. Talked to him for thirty-five minutes on his cell phone on his way home from the airport. Later, two hours and fifteen minutes are spent on a call to Montana while he unpacked.
    Day three: Sad, lonely. Not going to the movies with Josh. Instead I am waiting for Craig to get home so we can talk. Hurray! He called early. I can take Sam for a pre-mugging-hour walk.
    Days four, five, six and seven … Sadder. More lonely. I have missed one fabulous dinner party, one press screening with Josh for MGM’s new thriller starring George Clooney, and one board game night at Reilly’s.
    End of week one. Three more to go.
    End of week two. I am running out of things to say to Craig on the phone and am slightly annoyed that I have spent the last two weeks a slave to the phone, waiting for it to ring.
    Plus I missed sneaking into George Clooney’s birthday party this weekend with Reilly! Ugh! Will feel better after I get to see Craig. Must see Craig. Two weeks to go.
    End of week three.
    HOLY SHIT! I have just opened my AT&T phone bill. $642.18. Yes, 642 fucking dollars. How am I going to pay for this? I think what I could have bought with this. 642 stinking hard-earned PR dollars!
    A small price to pay for love. Right?
    Reason #5: Your phone bills could buy you a new pair of Gucci loafers every month .
    Will call Craig and see if he offers to help. I mean, I did pay for my own ticket to go and see him in Montana. He should offer to help with