Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) by Nicole Edwards Page B

feet.
    Ethan
could sense that something was wrong, so when they reached the edge of the
water and Gavin took a seat on one of the fallen tree stumps, Ethan decided to
approach things head on. “You ok?”
    “Sure.
Why?” Gavin asked, a note of tension in his voice.
    “You
seem… nervous.”
    Maybe
that was it. Maybe Gavin was nervous to be around him. Lord knew that Ethan had
been overwhelmed by nerves to the point of nausea in recent days. With each
passing minute that the two of them spent together, Ethan’s longing for this
man was coalescing into something so potent, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to
survive all of the feelings he was beginning to have.
    “Sit,”
Gavin said, nodding his head toward the log across from him.
    Ethan
momentarily glanced down at the spot directly beside Gavin but moved backward
instead. He would prefer to sit close to him, to be able to feel the warmth of
his arm, smell the scent of the cologne he’d been wearing more of these last
few weeks. Maybe lean into him and steal another kiss.
    “What’s
up?” Ethan knew Gavin had something on his mind, but for the life of him he had
no idea what it was. Unless of course Gavin was trying to find a way to share
how he was feeling. Ethan had been trying to come up with the words, or even
put them into actions for the last few days, but every time he thought he was
ready to cross that line, he choked, unable to process any of his thoughts into
either.
    Gavin
glanced around again and finally met Ethan’s gaze. His beautiful green eyes
were so bright, so clear, Ethan wondered if he could see right through them
into Gavin’s mind. If he could, he damn sure wished he could figure out what
the guy was thinking.
    “So,
uh…” Gavin’s words died off and Ethan found himself waiting on pins and needles
to hear what he had to say.
    When
several minutes passed, Ethan knew he would have to be the one to do the
talking. After all, he usually was. “Is something wrong?”
    “Yeah,
actually, there is.”
    “And
that would be?” Ethan asked, smiling. He loved talking to Gavin, especially
when he seemed to be choked up on his own emotions.
    Like
after the first time, when Ethan had been lodged to the hilt inside of Gavin’s
sweet body, he could’ve sworn Gavin had said the three words he’d been hoping
to hear. But, afterward, when Ethan held Gavin close to him, he had started to
wonder if he’d dreamed it.
    “Look,”
Gavin began, staring down at this hands as he squeezed them together. “What
happened…”
    Again
Gavin let the sentence drop and Ethan bit his bottom lip to keep from asking
more questions. Without saying anything, he chose to relocate himself to the
spot beside Gavin, reaching for his hand as he did.
    That’s
when Gavin jerked away, pushing to his feet and putting several steps between
them.
    “Look,
Ethan, I… I think you got the wrong idea about me.”
    Ethan
lifted a brow and stared back at him. “Is that right?”
    Despite
his confusion, Ethan’s heart began to thump painfully hard in his chest. He
could feel the letdown that was coming, knew Gavin was about to lie to him for
whatever reason, but for the life of him, he couldn’t stop it from happening.
    “I
didn’t want to be with you… like that.”
    Gavin’s
words were like a karate chop to the throat, cutting off Ethan’s air. “Like
what?” he asked, the words coming out as a raspy whisper.
    “You
know,” Gavin said quietly.
    “No,
I don’t know. Tell me.” Ethan pushed to his feet, hating the way his chest felt
as though it were caving in.
    “I’m
not gay,” Gavin said, his words determined, his eyes finally meeting Ethan’s
for the first time since they’d made their way down to the water.
    “You’re
not gay?” So, yes, that was a stupid question, but Ethan asked it anyway.
Surely his ears were playing tricks on him.
    “No.”
    “So,
the times we made love –”
    “Don’t
call it that!” Gavin exclaimed, his green eyes