Evanescere: Origins by Vanessa Buckingham Page A

in a manly fashion and so it was she found herself near
death in the arms of Viktor her creator. Leta’s story is similar to mine. She
dressed as a man to join battle and was injured severely. In trying to help her
the men found out a woman had joined their ranks and each had a turn with her.
As punishment she was left for dead and her tongue removed. To prevent her from
telling tales in the afterlife. There were many more vampires down here and
each eager to tell me their stories. So it was that I came to visit them every
day. Learning more about them and the different things they could do. With
Leta, I felt. bonded. We were women whom the world had done a great injustice.
    When I look back and
reflect, being in London is something I had always dreamed of back when I was
mortal. It was sad that I would be here without the ones I loved. Being here,
living a different life, being a different person.

9. PARADISE LOST
    P
    ERCEPTIONS OF LIFE AND OF
ALL things vary. Everyone experiences life differently, as is the case with me.
According to Jack, I took to immortal life with ease and finesse. I also took
on a new hunger for life, for knowledge. I learned a long time ago that the way
people process reality is different in so many ways and that no one version is
ever the truth. When I was human I experienced life as a passing blur, now that
I was no longer human it was not a passing blur, sadly I had forgotten how to
live life and enjoy it. I regret the things I should have done or said. The
only thing I can do is look forward and hope that I do not break because that
is the direction I was going, I wanted to mourn all I had lost but I could not
bring myself to do so. To do so would mean my very own destruction.
    If I could sleep I would
dream of them here with me. My children running around on the soft damp earth.
I continue to hang on to the ever fading memories and hope that one day I could
hear the soft pitter patter of little feet and the excited voices as they find
the joy in life. This is my new reality, a reality without the ones I loved.
For this moment, I push the idea aside and continue on with life.
    After a few weeks in
London, I finally found out what Jack had been doing. He had surprised me with
a cottage outside of Bodmin, England. It was beautiful almost like a fairytale,
with beautiful gardens, fountains and a pond with Koi fish. The cottage was so
cozy and it was perfect in every way. I was excited by such a gesture from Jack
and if my heart could still beat, it would have been warmed by the thought. I
realized for the first time in a long time I was happy. I knew it would take
time to ease the pain of my loss, but my family would always be with me. If
only things had happened differently, then we could have been here, together as
a family to experience the beauty that this world had to offer. Maybe one day
they would get the chance to explore it.
    I looked into Jack’s
mind, he did not block me this time, and his thoughts were pure. He felt that
not only would the humans be safer with me in the county (yes he actually
thought it and I was grateful for the thought), but that I would enjoy the
scenery. I must confess it takes my breath away. For me to be here, in such a
beautiful country was overwhelming. I inhaled deeply and I could smell the
salty aroma that only the sea could give. I had never seen cliffs before, I
would have to explore it in full when I get the opportunity to do so.
    Even though Jack and I
had relocated to the countryside, I still continued my nightly ritual of
running to London to meet with the old ones. For some time, Jack did not notice
my absence, that is until the day he went to seek me out. He walked through the
cottage room by room and he walked the gardens and the beach He searched for me
inside and out until he came upon my scent in the Cardinham Woods. By the
strength of my scent it was less than an hour old, so he followed it.
    I can only imagine he was
hoping with all hope that I