Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need by Stacey Mosteller

Kristopher, the latest guy she's trying to set me up with. He's nice and all, but just like all the others, he isn't Jeremy. He isn't the guy I really want to be with.
    When I walk over to them, Livvie gives me an evil little grin before she shouts, "Let's see that new swimsuit chica! I bet it looks amazing on you!" Like she doesn't know how I look in it. She's the one who was there when I bought it.
    "No, I'm good. I'll take my cover up off before I get in the pool." I really hate when she acts this way. Livvie is a great friend, but at times she thinks she knows what's best for me and she pushes me to do things I'm really uncomfortable with. If it was up to her, I would have lost my virginity at Junior Prom, and of course if Jeremy hadn't terrified Jordan.
    Livvie, being the instigator she is, doesn't let it end there. She pouts, pushing her lower lip out as far as she can and looks downright ridiculous until finally I relent, shrugging out of my tank top. This suit gives new meaning to "itty bitty polka dot bikini" considering that it's strapless and barely covers the essentials. When we went shopping a few days ago specifically for this party, she tried to talk me into getting the thong bottoms, but there was no way I was wearing a thong bathing suit around my brother. That was just all kinds of wrong.
    Kristopher and his ogling aren't making me feel any less weird about the whole thing. He's blatantly staring at my chest, and all I want to do is put my cover up back on. I notice Jeremy coming out of the house just as Kristopher wraps an arm around my waist and tries to pull me into the water. Shrieking, I start batting at his arms to get away from him, but I can't help my laughter, especially when I see how tightly Jeremy is gripping the rail.
    I spend the rest of the afternoon flirting with Kristopher, just to see what Jeremy would do. Poor Kristopher. There are a couple of times I think Jeremy is going to storm over, but he stays with Melanie which just makes my flirting more overt. The last straw for him is after David leaves for Drench. Kristopher wraps his arms around me in the pool, pulls me against him and kisses me deeply. When I turn around to check, Jeremy's gone and so is Melanie. I keep waiting for them to return, and the longer I wait, the more uncomfortable I become. The high from making him jealous dissipates quickly, leaving me with a sick feeling in my stomach.
    Finally, after telling Livvie I'm tired and I've had too much sun she gathers up Kristopher and Emmett who are the only ones left, herding them through the house and out the front door. Kristopher pauses to give me his number and to ask when he can see me again. Livvie shakes her head and tells him that I'll call him when I feel better as she gives me a sympathetic look. She knows the issue is Jeremy and Melanie leaving, and as much as she wants me to move on, to stop letting him affect me this way, she won't say anything else.
    After Livvie shuts the door behind them, the house is quiet. David won't be home for hours and I have no idea where Jeremy is. I quickly regret having my best friend leave because being home alone leaves me with too much time to think and I have a vivid imagination. Especially where Jeremy is concerned. As I walk back to the kitchen, passing Jeremy's bedroom, I hear his voice and can't stop myself from going to talk to him. I want to apologize, to try to make things better between us, but when I open the door, I get a shock instead.
    What I see is the last thing I expect. I stand there, frozen in the doorway with my hand still on the knob and unable to look away. Jeremy is still home, and in his room...but he isn't alone. If I could gouge my eyes out right now, I would. Jeremy and Melanie are in his bed, naked. She's underneath him, her legs are wrapped around his hips and he's between her legs. His head is bent down with his mouth close to her ear so he can murmur in her ear and still keep her arms pinned above her head