Fade to Black (The Black Trilogy Book 1) by MC Webb Page A

who continuously told me I was loved and wanted. No, my mother sold me. For what I don’t know, but it destroyed who I was supposed to be.
    “Stop!” I said, mad now, as Lana kept trying to get my clothes from me.
    After noticing I was not playing, she stopped. Taking off the oversized sunglasses she sported, like the movie star she was going to be, she searched my face. I refused to meet her eyes.
    “What is it, Piper?” Concern etched her gorgeous almond dark eyes. “Tell me,” she demanded.
    I opened the car door. “Just take me home.”
    Lana put her arm out, blocking me from getting in. “Livia Piper, I will hog-tie you until you tell me what is wrong.” I could hear in her voice that she meant it.
    I began to cry for no reason. I was not hurt, but ashamed. I would give anything to be like Lana, and let Matthew kiss me without freaking out. I was a mess. I had cuts all over me, because I was a freak. I’d never get the smell of stale tobacco and Daniel’s sweat out of my nose. I would never get clean, no matter how hard I scrubbed my skin. I couldn’t bleach the images out of my mind, out of my heart.
    Lana hugged me and rubbed my back. After I got control of myself a little, she pulled away from me and got something from under the front seat of her grandma’s beat-up old K-car. Without speaking, she led me to the cliff, where we sat Indian-style. I watched quietly as she placed something in paper and rolled it tight, licking it with her tongue and then putting the whole thing in her mouth to wet it. Pulling it from her lips, she grinned at me.
    “This will make you feel much better, and then we’re going to talk.”
    I didn’t protest. I watched as she lit up the joint. It made my mouth water, in spite of the smell of skunk. Then I smoked my first joint with Lana. There was no denying it, I felt much better. The weightless sensation carried me away almost instantly. My mind unraveled and my shoulders relaxed for the first time since being home.
    We talked and talked. I told her little bits, and finally broke down and told her about my cutting myself. I felt freer with each word that left my lips. She looked at me, wanting to see what I had done to myself. I took my shirt off, and showed her the mutilation of my arms. Lana never judged. Never seemed disgusted. She bent her head and kissed my self-inflicted wounds.
    Lana’s jet-black hair shone like glass in the sunlight. I was floating on a cloud. I allowed Lana to kiss me and to hold me. I understood we were both kindred spirits, broken in many different ways yet all were relatable. Lana explained to me how she believed we did what we needed to survive. If cutting made me feel better, then she understood.
    “My gran feeds herself all day and all night. The only time she’s not eating is when she’s sleeping. She does this instead of this,” she said, indicating the joint between her two perfectly manicured fingers. “For some unknown reason she believes hers isn’t a sin, but mine is. We both do what we do,” she said with a shrug.
    I’d never thought of things that way, but Lana was absolutely right. We talked about heavy things, then funny things. Being high was the first time I had unraveled my inner wrappings, and allowed myself to be in the present. I laughed till my jaws hurt.
    We skinny-dipped and lay on the rocks, unashamed by our nakedness. We finally dressed, and began making our way back as the sun set. I giggled all the way home. I hung my head out of the window, letting my long, wild hair fly through the wind.
    I was still smiling stupidly when she dropped me off at home. Nana was waiting on me at the door hands firmly placed on her hips. She chewed me up and down. Then, when Lana had enough time to get home, she called her and chewed her out as well. I knew she was just nervous, and worried all the time. I wished there was something I could do to take the worry from her.
    As I went to the kitchen to get dinner, I wondered if I