Fangs for Nothing (Vampire Hunting and Other Foolish Endeavors) by Adrianne Ambrose Page A

Xander and shouted, “Let’s get the hell out of here!”
    I didn’t have to say it twice; Xander was right there with me. We took off, sprinting back the way we had come. Rini was just standing there like a zombie, so Xander grabbed her by the arm and dragged her in our wake. She has stubby little legs, so there was no way she could keep up while we were running hell-bent for leather. I felt an extreme urgency to increase our speed, so I grabbed her other arm. When we hit the stairs, we hooked her under the armpits so we could take them two at a time. Bursting through the faux-water silk, we were no longer concerned about tearing the beautiful fabric. We fought our way through the crowd and scrambled out the exit.
    I don’t even know how we made it home alive. Xander was behind the wheel, driving like a maniac, shouting, “This is unbelievable. This is un-fucking-believable.” Rini wrapped herself into a tiny ball in the passenger’s seat and kept rocking back and forth. I was in the back seat completely gob smacked. It’s a miracle we didn’t get pulled over by the cops. I’m sure they would have hauled us down to the station for being on drugs, the way we were gibbering about vampires in Cleveland. As it was, none of us had so much as had a drink.
    In my room, alone in bed with the covers tucked under my chin, I couldn’t sleep. Several things were bothering me. The first being that vampires existed. Naturally. Secondly, these existing vampires were living in Cleveland, Ohio. Or at least, one of them was. The third problem was that we’d left Lydia Sarducci in the vampire’s clutches. I mean, I can’t believe we just left her there. In our defense, she was blissed out and appeared to be having one heck of a good time, so the likelihood we could have gotten her to her feet and dragged her out of there was slim, but still… And finally, we pretty much destroyed the silk water illusion as we barreled through it. There were still a ton of kids partying under the bridge when we made our hasty exit. God knows how many of them decided to follow the hallway to the lair of the vampire without the scummy faux water to keep them out.
    But what were we supposed to do? I couldn’t think of a plausible solution. The place was crammed full with Goth kids. I somehow doubted shouting, “Everybody, get out. There’s a vampire down here,” would have worked. In fact, it probably would have had the opposite effect.
    There was absolutely no way I could sleep. I’d drawn the curtains to my windows because I kept feeling like someone was lurking outside, looking in at me. A couple of times, I thought I heard the shriek of teenage girls, but it might also have been cars with bad brakes or something. I had two winter scarves double wrapped around my neck, which were making me sweat, and I was starting to itch. I also sharpened the crap out of every pencil I could get my hands on. I wasn’t sure how much wood was needed to officially qualify as a stake that would kill a vampire, but I knew there would be hell to pay if Grandma caught me sharpening her wooden spoons.
    I kept thu nking myself on the forehead trying to absorb the new reality that had been thrust upon me. Over the last couple of years, Xander, Rini, and I had talked and joked and dreamed about vampires so much. Hell, we’d even taken a few jaunts around the country looking for them. But absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the fact that vampires truly existed and had taken up residence in my hometown.
    I don’t know when I finally dozed off, but I awoke the next morning to the sounds of an annoyed senior citizen standing over my bed. “Herbert . What’s that powder crap doing all over the house? It stinks to high heaven. What in the world were you doing?”
    I quickly burrowed under my pillow before she could execute her next early morning maneuver of throwing open the curtains to allow the sun to braise my eyeballs. “Uh, I don’t know, Grandma,” I