Fat Cat by Robin Brande

"It's daytime," I tried. "I'd have to walk, and I don't really have time today--"
    "Distance exception. I swear, Kitty Cat, if you don't start acting reasonably in the next five minutes, I'm going to throw a rope over you and drag you to the mall and dress you in nothing but miniskirts and fishnets. Is that what you want?"
    I tried to stare her down, but Amanda always wins at that. I groaned. "Fine."
    But I still felt conspicuous driving around where anyone could see me. What if Mr. Fizer decided to go to the mall today? How was I going to explain myself? At least Amanda let me turn the stereo off so I didn't have that technology violation on my conscience.
    As we got closer to the mall, I scrunched down in my seat so no one would see me.
    Amanda shook her head. "You are really taking this too far."
    "I'm just trying to do it right. I shouldn't even be here."
    "You just don't like to shop," Amanda said. "Besides, you're theone who makes up all the rules for your project, right? No one's telling you how to do this."
    "But it's bigger than that," I said. "I want to win . And that means being really, really careful."
    "I understand that," Amanda said, negotiating the turn into the parking lot. "I'm just saying you can probably win without completely losing your grip on reality."
    I considered that for a moment. I looked up at her from where I was crouched against the door. "Do you really think I'm acting weird?"
    "Ha! You mean other than what you're doing right now? How about the fact that you refuse to answer the phone or wear a watch or even look at a text message anymore? And you've given up watching all those science and cooking shows I know you adore, even though no one but you is ever going to check up on what you're doing."
    "I have to be honest--"
    "And if I'm not mistaken," Amanda continued, "I believe that was olive oil you had smeared all over yourself yesterday instead of lotion--"
    "It's more natural--"
    "It's a salad dressing. Come on, Cat! Why are you torturing yourself like this? Just so you can prove something to Matt? Is it really worth it?"
    "That's not why I'm doing it."
    "Right. We just met, so I don't know you at all."
    Amanda parked the car. I straightened up in my seat, and we both sat there for a minute without talking. Then I had to give in.
    "That's not the only reason I'm doing it."
    "I know." Amanda gave my arm a little poke. "Just promise meyou won't stop talking because your people only knew how to grunt. I'm sure they figured out some sort of hand signals." Then she used hand signals of her own. "You're weird, but I love you."
    I smiled and signed back, "Thank you."
    "Let's go."
    The mall had only just opened, so there wasn't much of a crowd yet. Amanda guided me into American Edge, where the sound system was blasting so loudly I thought my eardrums would melt. Just over a month without music, and it's like my ears have already closed up from disuse.
    I shouted above the noise, "I really can't handle this right now."
    Amanda, to her credit, didn't complain. She just linked her arm in mine and pulled me to the next store.
    Much better. Still music, but at a human level.
    "Okay," Amanda said, "here's what I need to see: at least two pairs of pants, maybe a skirt if you're feeling kicky, and three or four decent-looking tops. Think you can handle that?"
    "I can't promise."
    But Amanda is good. They should give her a black belt in shopping. She's fast, she's efficient, and she's all about the sale rack.
    It only took half an hour to accomplish her mission. While I waited in the dressing room, Amanda brought in pants and tops in various sizes, since we really didn't know what size I am anymore.
    "I wasn't going to ask," Amanda said, "but just out of curiosity--how much weight have you lost?"
    "I don't know. I can't use a scale--technology."
    Amanda rolled her eyes.
    "Anyway, I decided I'm only going to weigh myself when I'm at Jackie's office."
    "Why? Here." She passed me three pairs of the same pants,