Fight or Flight by Vanessa North Page A

teased. “It’s unbecoming.”
    “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to call you Becky in front of the crew. C’mon, Josiah, you have to tell me. I live vicariously through you and Clau.”
    “Like you ever stopped? Fuck, yes, one of the passengers. Okay?”
    “Is he cute?”
    “Tirz…”
    “Becky.”
    “Yes, he’s cute.” He shook his head, sighing heavily. “It’s Max. He came with me because he wanted to see the nebula.”
    “Really? I thought you broke it off with him when he wouldn’t—”
    “Really. Anyway, it’s just a racquetball game, a late dinner, and maybe some holo-play afterward. I’ve put the brakes on anything more until he comes out to his family.”
    “Are you in love with him?” She couldn’t help the wistfulness in her voice.
    “Tirzah, you can’t keep trying to live through me. I gave you a hard time about Zeke during the trial, but now that’s over, you should be dating, sweetheart. Haven’t you let Walter hold you captive too long already? Where’s the old you, the girl who wasn’t afraid of anything? You used to—”
    “That girl is gone, Josiah,” she interrupted. “She’s never coming back. And I don’t have time to date. I have to steer this monstrosity through the nebula and land it safely on the colony, get them settled in, and report back home before New Year’s Day.”
    “You don’t have to be back on Earth for another six months. There’s no need for you to rush back as soon as you drop the colonists off.”
    “If I want a fight command this issue, I need to be back by January.”
    “Why the rush? Five months ago—”
    “Because I need this. To be whole again.” Tirzah felt a momentary panic. A small part of her was terrified at the idea of rejoining the fighter fleet—that’s where she had met Walter. But flying fighters had been her goal since childhood. She’d worked her ass off to get there and then to have it ripped away by her husband? No. He’d taken too much already. She was physically fit now, able to fight hand-to-hand if necessary. She was ready; she would get her gold wings back. No more colony ships. No more passengers. Just crew. Just team.
    “I need this,” she repeated.
    “I don’t think that’s what you really want. But you know I love you, and I’ll support you, so if January is the deadline, I’m with you. Just be sure, Tirz. You don’t have to be a fighter to be a great pilot. You don’t have to be a fighter to serve your people. The war is over. The Coronals aren’t a threat anymore.”
    “You’re going to be late for your date.” She turned and walked out of her office without a good-bye, leaving her best friend staring after her.
    * * * *
    Zeke had been hiding in his quarters since coming aboard two days before. He didn’t know if Tirzah checked passenger manifests … didn’t know if she knew he was here or not. But she hadn’t come looking for him, so if she did know? Maybe she just didn’t want to see him.
    He’d gone home after her trial to tie up loose ends, among them to sell the house where he’d lived with Elinor. He’d been leasing it out for years, but it was time to let it go. After signing the papers to finance it to his tenants, he’d stood in the foyer and relived that last horrible morning with her, the baby bouncing on her hip, covering his ears and crying as Zeke shouted. He felt the cold chill of desperation all over again, how he’d felt watching everyone he loved walk out the front door and into the arms of another man.
    Done now. He was moving forward. Back to Solomon to prosecute Guszak, and from there, wherever the law would take him.
    When he was looking for passage back through the nebula, he had jumped at the chance to book aboard Tirzah’s ship. It was coincidence he’d finished settling his affairs for the move to Solomon City just in time for her passage. He didn’t much like the idea of crossing the nebula in one of the old-style ships, but if anyone could do it, it was