[Finding Emma 01.5] Dear Jack by Steena Holmes Page A

rose bushes as if they were your babies, then you’ll be grumbling at me to make you some homemade iced tea. But you’re not and I’m too afraid to touch your rose bushes. I did water them and they look fine. There are a few buds that look promising.
    Mary and I spent the day soaking up the sun. First, we worked in the garden, pulling weeds and making sure the tender shoots were doing okay. Then, instead of heading back into the house for more housework, I thought about what you would do if you were here. You always spent time playing with Mary, teaching her things, making her smile when you weren’t working hard on fixing the lawn mower or building another doll house to sell. You never seem to worry about getting your things done when Mary’s around. She’s always been your number one priority. I’m not like that, able to switch off the part of me that is always thinking about what needs to be done, but I’ll try to be. So, we played on the swing you put up for her for what must have been hours. You should have heard her, Jack. Her laughter was beautiful.
    Just when I thought my arms would fall off from pushing her for so long, Doug’s vehicle drove down our driveway. Mary was so excited, she jumped off the swing and ran towards the passenger side of the truck. She thought you were home. I wish you were.
    It was a good thing he came bearing gifts. Mary lit up like a christmas tree once she saw the bag he pulled out. He brought her a new bouncing ball, skip rope and crayons. You would have thought he brought her a puppy the way she squealed. Jack, if he ever brings us a puppy and you’re not here, just know that one day when you do come home, I may just smother you in your sleep. Taking care of a dog right now is not something I want to do. Do you hear me? No, of course you don’t. But I warned Doug and by the look in his eye, I wouldn’t put it past him that he’d thought about it.
    Now, I know he said he only came by to ‘check in on us’ , but you asked him to take care of us, didn’t you? I can think of two reasons why you would do so.
     
    1. For your own peace of mind. You needed to know that the person you trusted the most was taking care of your family when you couldn’t.
    2. To give him something to do since he couldn’t join you.
     
    I don’t mind. Really, I don’t. It’s nice to have a man around the house. All he needs to do is fall asleep on the front porch while I’m telling him about my day and I’d think he was you. I miss that, actually…you, being here.
    In all honesty, it feels…odd…to have Doug come out here and not have you around. You are his friend, not mine. I’m just the wife of his best friend who makes sure he’s always fed. It was awkward for a few moments. I think we both realized it at the same time, but then Mary threw her new ball at him and forgot to warn him. I gotta say, she’s got a good arm. You taught her well. Good thing the ball was plastic, otherwise she would have broken his nose.
    He’s a good man. I’m not sure why he’s never married. In all the years I’ve known him, there’s never really been a woman in his life — that I’ve known of. I imagine you’re shaking your head at me, aren’t you. You probably know all his deep and dark secrets. Not that I want to know them. I don’t. But maybe he knows yours, the ones you won’t tell me about. The ones that a wife should know. Don’t bother denying it, Jack. I know you better than you think. Don’t for a moment believe you’ve fooled me. I’ve seen those shadows in your eyes when you’ve had a little too much to drink.
    Anyways, Doug stayed for dinner. He sat in your place, I hope that was okay. Mary set the table and she led him there before I could stop her. You know, she always sets a plate at your chair, the same as I would do if you were working late or out in your shed and lost track of time. I don’t dissuade her; it’s kind of nice to pretend that you will be home soon. I didn’t