Flood by Ian Rankin Page B

sucked in some liquid and began spluttering. The water was sour for a second and then was bland, filling his mouth, trickling down his resisting throat. It was dark down there, but he fought against the darkness. His feet touched bottom. He pushed hard, and his head rose above the surface. Someone was shouting.

    'By Christ! Here comes the Loch Ness Monster!'

    He stood coughing and retching for a minute. They were at the edge of the pool and began to help him out. They could see that something quite frightening had just happened.

    'Sorry, Sandy,' said Colin, patting his back. 'It was just a joke. Are you all right?' Sandy nodded.

    'Fine,' he said. Then, tipping his body slightly forward over the pool, he brought up a foamy concoction of lager and lemonade and algae and water. The others stood back a little.

    Well,' said Mark, 'we'll not be swimming in there for a while.'

    They lay down again and were reflective for some time.
    Sandy stared at the grass and let himself dry in the hot sun.
    He felt fine, but shaky.

    'Are you still seeing Shona McKechnie?' Mark asked Colin. This brought an interested glint to every eye: sex.

    'Well, lads,' said Colin, 'that's confidential. Hush-hush. I wouldn't like to say, really.'

    'That means she's chucked him in,' said Clark, hoping it were true.

    'Just you keep thinking that, young Clark, if you want to.'

    Well, tell us then, Colin.'

    'Okay, boys. Are you sitting comfortably?' They shifted closer to Colin. 'Once upon a time,' he began, 'there was a sexy young lad called Colin McLintock. Now, Colin happened to stumble across a ravishing princess one day. . .'

    'Stumbled is the right word! You were pissed as a fart.'

    'Okay, Mark,' said Colin angrily, 'you tell the story.' But they poked Mark in the ribs and pleaded with Colin to continue. 'No more interruptions then,' he said. 'Now, as I was saying, this handsome lad one day met a lady at a party, and the lady's name was Shona McKechnie. They enjoyed one another's company, and started necking on the couch.

    He walked her home. There was a passionate goodnight kiss on her doorstep, and that, thought Colin, was that. But no! It was not to be, my children.
    For, as it turned out, this Shona person had a fiery reputation with the older boys in town. After school, it turned out, she would go up into the
    Wilderness and cavort with the whole of the Cars gang.
    Word had got around that Shona had the hots for noble young Colin, and so the Cars, in their infinite stupidity, decided to scare him away from the princess, a bit like the Ugly Sisters in "Cinderella" . . .'

    'Christ, Colin, you better watch that they're not hiding in the grass this very minute. If they could hear you .. .'

    'So,' Colin's voice became even louder, 'the aforementioned Cars gang, being a cowardly bunch of shits, chased poor Colin for weeks and would be waiting for him outside school, forcing him to sneak home by devious routes, and they made his life hell to the extent that he gave up seeing Shona, though she still chased him in school. So you see, lads, he was in a tight spot. Chased by two fearsome elements.' Colin was on his feet now, acting with gusto. What could he do?
    He did what a man must do.'

    'Quite right,' said Sandy.

    'He started seeing Shona again, but making certain that it was kept as secret as was humanly possible. He told only his most trusted friends. And, my most trusted friends, he is still seeing her. He is seeing her tonight, he thinks. And he is regularly getting his nuts from her.'

    "You jammy bastard,' said Mark.

    'What's she like then, Colin?' asked Clark.

    'Princesses are not to be discussed in such terms,' said Colin, sitting down again. There were groans of dissent.

    Sandy knew these games. They were old, and their utility value, as the Economics exam would have had it, seemed to decrease with each rendition. They all knew what sex was.
    They had learned about it from boys with older brothers, from glossy magazines flicked