Flying High by Liz Gavin Page B

Kay had developed a systematic way of hiding herself in plain sight. She had put on weight years ago. Since then, she had used her overweight as an excuse to wear loose-fitting clothes. Her allergies served as a valid reason for wearing almost no make-up. The only exception being her trademark bright red lipstick, which she loved wearing. She also kept her long nails carefully manicured and almost always painted a bright red to match the lipstick. She felt comfortable not drawing much attention to herself. She avoided the heartache and the complications that relationships had caused her in the past.
    “Why bother otherwise, Syl? You know my track record. It’s better this way.”
    “No, honey, it’s safer this way. I know quite well why you do that. You’ve chosen to avoid men in general based on your past problems. That’s understandable. Avoiding men, though, means you don’t have fun. Ever! That’s not healthy in any way.”
    Another long silence fell between the two women. When it was clear Kay wouldn’t say anything else, Sylvia went on, “I guess I get what you’re doing here, Kay. You associate sex with feelings.”
    “Shouldn’t I?”
    “Well, not necessarily. I mean, you can have sex with a man you like but you’re not in love with, you know? In fact, you can have great sex with men you don’t even like that much.”
    * * * *
    A fter that disturbing, life-altering conversation with her best friend, Kay spent the next couple of months pondering those words and their meaning. She still wasn’t convinced one could have sex with a person they didn’t like. However, the rest of her friend’s arguments slowly sank in and she started to change her ways.
    Unfortunately, after Sylvia had gotten married three years before, she lived miles away and the two friends had to limit their contacts to phone conversations and online video chats. Nevertheless, Sylvia regularly nudged Kay with comments and suggestions that gradually helped the younger woman to break her behavior patterns and try new things. She bought new clothes, new shoes, and new lingerie. She had forgotten how much she had enjoyed wearing pantyhose in the past. Only now she preferred stockings and garters. Much sexier.
    Wearing sexy clothes makes a woman feel sexy. Sylvia knew that and Kay was learning it and enjoying it. Her co-workers had noticed the obvious change in her wardrobe, as well as the more subtle changes in her behavior. That week she had even done something, which would have been unconceivable for Kay before her conversation with Sylvia.
    At an informal after-work get-together, she had had a few drinks too many and ended up fooling around with a colleague. It wasn’t her best moment and she regretted it on the very next day. She hadn’t felt bad about kissing Sean Green - he was a pretty good kisser, not to mention his good looks. Besides, nothing much had happened, they hadn’t gone all the way. Still, she didn’t think hooking up with a guy from her office was the smartest move.
    A brief display of her past bad choices popped up in her mind, which she quickly dismissed. It was part of the changing process. Sylvia always said, Kay needed to move forward, but with ‘baby steps’. And ‘stepping back’ was supposed to be an acceptable part of that ‘moving forward’ process.
    She was a little concerned, though, that the young office assistant might have taken their indiscretion more seriously than she had meant it to be. She thought there had been a few changes in the way he addressed her on the days following the party but she couldn’t be sure about that. He wasn’t openly flirty or inappropriate yet she sensed something different in the way he looked at her and in the tone of voice he used to talk to her now. In a nutshell, Kay had no real evidence to sustain her suspicions so she dismissed them telling herself she was being paranoid about a non-existent office fling.
    * * * *
    S he checked her reflection on her bedroom