hallway. Then I grabbed the bottle of whisky, placing it on my telephone table
before tackling the ridiculously large bouquet that nearly didn’t fit through the
doorway. Resting the annoyingly
beautiful blooms on my miniscule dining table for two, I tugged the envelope from
the card holder and ripped it open.
I was so annoyed with Andrew. What the fuck gave him the right to seek out
my address? The man had no sense of
propriety and acted as though it was his God given right do whatever he wanted,
and damn how it impacted anyone else.
The note was cryptic.
I wanted you to have
these flowers, Rebecca. The smell of
them reminds me of you. Maybe the whiskey
will remind you of me. It was fun but
not as fun as it could have been. Hurting you was not my intention and for that I am sorry. Maybe you’ll
forgive me. I hope I will see that day. Until then…
Andrew
What the fuck? I threw the note on the table and stamped into
the kitchen to put the kettle on, seething that he had to have the last
word. The man was infuriating. But, I rationalised, as I stood at the
counter to make myself some tea, he was an ocean away and those flowers would
be dead in a few days. The whisky would
make a nice gift for my dad; it looked like an expensive brand. I’d have nothing to remind me of Andrew
except my memories and, though it would take a while, I knew those would fade
too.
Tea in hand, I relaxed on the sofa
and texted my mum to let her know I was home safely. Moving out had its privacy benefits but I
knew she worried, even though I was independent. I wasn’t tired despite it being 2am so I
flicked on the TV, searching for something to fill some time until my eyes started
drooping. The programme I chose wasn’t
that engaging and I found myself looking at the flowers, mind wandering back to
Atlanta. I wondered what Andrew was doing. He was five hours behind so he was probably
having dinner or maybe he was in a different hotel bar, nursing a whisky and
telling another unsuspecting girl to take off her knickers in public. The though made me angry and, I hate to
admit, jealous. My memories were vivid
enough that I could almost see the glint in his eyes, and the arousal. I imagined him taking those new panties home
and using them when he needed some self-relief and I hated the thought he might
prefer them to mine.
I was so stupid.
All it had been was a fling on a
business trip and all he’d wanted was anonymous sex. The fact that he ended up knowing a bit about
me didn’t mean anything. I hadn’t been
looking for anything except a chance to act without caution for once in my
life. Jealous feelings had no place in
such a situation, especially now I was never going to see him again.
I wished it wasn’t so late so I could
call Marnie and offload my angst. I knew
what she would say; take it as an experience that was fun while it lasted and
move on. Maybe learn something in the
process. It was hard to admit that,
whilst the sex had been amazing, the whole meaningless fuck thing wasn’t for
me. I just didn’t have the kind of heart
that could be intimate with someone without it affecting me. I felt loss, even though I had no right
to. I’d given something of myself and I
wouldn’t be able to get that back.
When I finished my tea I pulled a
blanket over myself and lay down, thinking I would watch to the end of the
programme but I must have fallen asleep because, when I opened my eyes there
was sunlight streaming through the gaps in the blinds and someone was knocking
on my front door.
ANDREW
Did I feel nervous standing on Rebecca’s doorstep at
7.30am? I hate to admit it, but
yes. It’d been a long flight although I had
no right to complain because my plane is very comfortable, and I managed to
sleep a little on the journey. I’d been
round and round on the sanity of what I was doing.