Freeing Alex by Sarah Elizabeth Ashley Page B

and pull out a tissue. I try to wipe away the black streaks but without
a mirror I can’t see what I’m doing, I’m probably making it worse.
    “Give it to me.” He takes the tissue from my hand and wraps
it around his fingers, gently wiping the smudges from my cheeks. “There, that’s
better,” he whispers. He stays on the floor, kneeling in front of me. Placing
his hands on the top of my arms, his focus remains firm.
    “Tell me!” he says slowly, firmly. “Tell. Me,” he says
again, punctuating his words as if to emphasise the demand. I look directly
into the handsome face, the dark eyes willing me to reveal why I feel so, so
desperate about myself. I think for a moment.
    “I can’t.” I lower my face, looking at my feet. “I can’t
tell anyone!” Inside I’m wrecked, my stomach knotted, my heart racing. I feel
choked, yet deep down I know it would be a relief for someone to know and James has become as good as a friend – more than just a friend, it would
seem, at this moment in time. Although I’ve only known him a few weeks I think
I can trust him.
    I whisper, pleading, “Can I trust you? Can I trust you to never say anything if I tell you, if I show you?”
    “I can’t promise that, it depends on what you say. What I
can promise you is that I will listen.” His voice is soft, yet firm, yet full
of compassion.
    I shake my head. “It’s embarrassing. I need to know that you
will never tell anyone,” I mutter.
    “Is that the only way you’re going to talk to me about
what’s upsetting you so much, if I promise never to tell anyone?”
    “Yes, that is the only way!” I look at him through
tear-filled eyes. “It ’ s the only way.”
    “Then I promise, unless… unless you tell me that someone is
going to be harmed, then I will have to do something, say something.” He’s
looking at me, his words so firm.
    I compose myself, taking a breath or two. “I’m not going to
tell you that anyone is going to be harmed, don’t worry, it’s nothing like
that, but it is shocking and it’s what makes me hideous. Lewis made certain
that no man would ever come near me ever again, that I’ll never have another
man.”
    He’s confused, I can see in his beautiful face that he’s
totally confused. He must think I’m some sort of crazy woman.
    “Tell me…” he demands quietly.
    Our eyes meet, his focus directly on me, nowhere else. “I’ll
show you, I can’t speak the words,” I say flatly, my vision blurred from the
tears.
    He frowns, totally confused. Now I know he thinks I’m some
sort of mad-woman.
    I can’t believe I’m going to do this, I really can’t. Alex
Drake, what the hell has come over you? Yesterday I felt so strong, so
confident, and yet today I’m ready to crumble. The past, although I’m working
on it, has clearly not yet left me.
    What am I doing ? I slowly unbutton my shirt. I slip
my left shoulder from the confines of the soft fabric and slide it down the top
of my arm, letting it drop to waist level. James just stays kneeling in front
of me, looking at me, his face looking so soft and compassionate. My M&S
white bra at his eye level, he gasps. “Oh, Alex,” He looks at my breasts before
moving his gaze to me as I sit in that chair, a complete mess, “you’re
beautiful.” I break eye contact with him as I shuffle around in the chair,
bringing my left shoulder into his view. There. Now he can see the repulsive
scarring on my shoulder blade, the outline of the iron clearly visible.
    “Fuck!” James spits. “Your husband did this?” he hisses.
    I quickly pull my shirt back into place, tears blurring my
vision again. “See, I’m monstrous and I’m useless,” I say, sobbing again.
    “Alex, Alex… Oh my love, you’re anything but monstrous and
certainly not useless, look at what you’re doing here.  You’re the most
generous, compassionate, beautiful person anyone could wish to meet.” His voice
is a low growl. “Alex, you’re beautiful.” His tone