I’m sick and tired of you putting
out-of-towners before locals!”
I made my way up to Jim’s house. As I passed by his
workshop, I noticed the window was still open. He must have forgotten to close
it last night after he finished cleaning up. Boy was he going to regret that
when he walked into the shop. It couldn’t be more than twenty degrees outside.
I rounded the corner and saw a large man in a dark blue
stocking cap banging on Jim’s front door. Didn’t take a genius to realize he
was pissed.
“Can I help you?” I rudely asked. I didn’t know who this man
thought he was…but I wasn’t going to let him bully my friend.
The big giant whirled in my direction. His eyes narrowed as
he looked me over from head to toe. My skin crawled.
“Who’re you?” he demanded.
“I live in the house over there,” I said, pointing to our
place. “You’re making enough noise to wake the dead. Figured I better see what
all the commotion was about.”
The man sneered. “How about you go back inside your house
and stay in the kitchen where you belong, and I’ll stay right here pounding on
this door until the son-of-a-bitch opens up!” He turned and started pounding on
the front door again.
“Hey, numb-nuts. Maybe he’s not here. You ever think of
that?”
Why is it my mouth runs before my brain can tell it to stop?
But his nasty comment about me and the kitchen pissed me off. Especially since
I obviously never spent time in the
kitchen.
The man stopped pounding, turned, and very slowly made his way
toward me. It took all my effort not to back up a step, but I wasn’t going to
let him see I was scared.
Stopping just two feet from me, he leaned down and jabbed me
in the chest with his big, beefy finger. Well, he actually jabbed my coat and the
three layers of clothing I had on underneath the coat…but the intent was still
there!
“Hey…you…leave my niece alone or I’ll rip off your balls and
feed them to you!”
I laughed.
I thought I was grabbing the bull by the horns with this
guy. I felt her sidle up next to me. I still hadn’t turned around…didn’t want
to give this guy the upper hand.
“That so, old lady?” the vile man sneered. “I’m thinking you
two uppity broads need a nice, strong man to put you in your place.”
Aunt Shirley whipped out her snub-nose revolver. “I’m
thinking your momma should have taught you better manners. Now, get your ass off
this property before I blow a hole right through you!”
The man sputtered and practically tripped over his feet as
he raced to his truck. Jumping in he closed the door and gunned the truck into
reverse, then shot out of the driveway like his tail was on fire.
Aunt Shirley chuckled as she tucked the gun into the back of
her elastic-waist jeans. How in the world the gun didn’t slide down was beyond
me.
“I thought Garrett made you give that gun to him after the
last time you pulled it out on someone?” I said. Aunt Shirley had pulled that
very gun out on another person back when we were trying to solve the murders a
couple months back. Once all the whoopla had died down, and the murder was
solved, Garrett had heard that Aunt Shirley had a gun…he told her to hand it
over. I had assumed Aunt Shirley had complied. Obviously not.
“I told him the truth. I didn’t have it any longer. In fact,
I told him to check my apartment…which the little ingrate did!”
“And where exactly was it?” I asked. I knew my aunt well.
My aunt laughed. “I told Old Man Jenkins if he let me stash
it in his Oat Bran cereal box I’d let him touch my boobs.”
I shook my head and laughed. I’d have given anything to see
Garrett’s face when he realized he’d been bested by my aunt.
“So what’s going on here?” Aunt Shirley asked.
“I don’t know. I was down at the dock taking pictures when I
heard that guy pounding on Jim’s door and yelling. I came up here to see what
all the commotion was about.”
“I was in the kitchen making up