Give The Devil His Due by H G White Page B

‘Absolutely.’
           It was a stupid question to ask a man that had been living on the streets since who knew when. I made a double round. Neil ate the lot. Maybe this was the answer to my lack of dedication towards the diet. If every time hunger came-a-calling I made something and gave it to Neil instead of eating it myself, I'd be losing weight pretty fast.
           ‘Can you give your mother a ring and tell her I'll be over for the licence in the next hour and a half? Dial 141 before the number so she can't see you're calling from a local phone.’
           ‘Yeah, no problem.’
           Neil's parents lived about thirty minutes drive away so that would give me plenty of time.
           ‘Once I get back we'll have to go shopping. Sort you out with some tidy clothes.’
           ‘Great.’ He smiled.
     
     
    ***
     
    By about one o'clock we'd nearly got everything done. We only had Alan to deal with but I needn't have worried. We went to see him about 2.30 p.m. and he was eager to get home. He made a comment about Neil's black eye; Neil told him he'd slipped on a bar of soap. I could see Alan was in a good mood and so asked him if he could rush the app through. He said if it was returned by Friday lunchtime Neil could have a badge by close of business that same afternoon.
           We paid the fee and took the app with us. The only things left to do now were arrange Neil's medical and get the paperwork back to Alan. I'd already contacted an owner that had several vehicles, so there’d be a car ready for Neil as soon as he was licensed.
           A friend of mine was a doctor. It took a case of decent wine but Neil managed to get registered with her practice and a medical booked for Friday morning. Things were going better than we could have hoped for.
           We decided to have a celebratory pot of tea. Like Alan I was also in a good mood and I could see Neil was enjoying himself.
           ‘How does going to a housewarming on Saturday grab you, Mr Fairburn?’
           I hadn't asked Tegan if I could bring somebody along, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't object. Neil was undecided. Maybe he felt self-conscious about his bruises.
           ‘Er ...’
           I tried to reassure him. ‘Don't worry about your eye. It's fancy dress. You can pick a costume of someone with an injury, like a boxer or something.’
           ‘I can't Will. I've still got flea bite marks all over me from sleeping rough.’
           I hadn't realised this. ‘We'll come up with something else then.’
           ‘I could go as a wounded soldier.’
           ‘Have you got a uniform?’ I asked.
           ‘No.’
           ‘Well I'm not fucking-well hiring one; they cost fortunes. Besides it's only a neighbour's do.’
           Then ... give my balls the night off! I'd got it. Two birds with one stone.
           ‘I know, we'll go as a doctor and his patient. I'll be the doctor. We can get some pyjamas for you, the dressing gown we've got. My mother used to work in the hospital. She’s still got friends there. If she can't get hold of a white coat and stethoscope for me, then birds don't shit in the woods. Job done!’
           ‘It's “bears”, Will.’
           ‘Bears?’
           ‘Yeah, bears that shit in woods.’
           ‘Whatever.’
           I phoned my mother and informed her of our requirements. I told her to get it sorted by Saturday lunchtime at the latest. I told her I'd be holding the cream cakes in her fridge hostage. I also told her that once the deadline had expired, on the hour, every hour, one cake would be summarily eaten until my demands were met in full. There was to be no negotiation. She said she would see what she could do.
           I hung up. I dialled her again.
           She picked up. ‘Yes, what is it?’
           ‘I want one of those plastic